The Royal Treatment

This was one of those moments that I wished I had a camera! Hazel and I had a date at the nail salon the other day. I thought it would be fun for her to get her nails painted while I got my pedicure. I sat down in my vibrating chair and Hazel was whisked away to a manicure chair. It was the cutest thing to watch. I could barely see her because she was surrounded by women who were talking to her (some in languages that I am pretty sure she doesn't speak) and cooing at her and stroking her hair and touching her face...and that doesn't even include the girl who was painting her nails. They couldn't keep their hands off her. She just sat there in stunned silence the whole time. I think she might have been a little scared, but at least she came out of it with pretty nails. They even painted a little flower on her thumb nails. She felt like royalty.

In fact...I'm starting to wonder why they don't give me that same treatment! I guess she is a lot cuter than me. :)

Deep Thinking

Hazel and I were in a public restroom a few day ago washing our hands. The trash can was right on her level and she stared at it for a long time after throwing her paper towel away.

In a panic, she whipped her head up and looked at me with a very concerned look and said, "Mommy! You can't reach the trash can because you didn't already grow small enough."

I just smiled at her and tried to reassure her that I could just drop my paper towel down from my staggering height, but she wasn't having it.

She said "NO. You have to grow down like THIS!" and squatted down to the floor while motioning a gradual "growing down" with her hands.

Oh, the mind of a two year old.

And here is a precious moment I captured. They may scream and fight 99% of the day, but occasionally I hear silence (that phrase makes no sense) and I find them loving each other. :)

watching t.v. together

Do you see Hazel's little arm around his shoulder? So sweet. And what does it say about my picture taking habits that they didn't even budge while I circled around them for the best view? Poor kids.

Viva Las Vegas

Well...now I can say I have been to Vegas.

My Dad had a work thing in Las Vegas so we decided to hop on over and meet up with them for the weekend. We had our fair share of Casino hopping and show watching. Here are just a few of our pics from the weekend. We also stopped at Hoover Dam on the way home. You can look at the rest of our pics at http://www.familywill.shutterfly.com/


The fountains at the Bellagio (beautiful, but disappointing in it's brevity)




Hazel meets the lions at the MGM Grand

Just some random Hazel cuteness (Owen didn't want his picture taken)

New York New York- looks cooler on the outside than the inside.

This is what Hazel did while we casino hopped the second day. :)

The fam at Treasure Island (now THAT was a wholesome family show (this is sarcasm)).

Owen and Hazel liked Circus Circus the best because of all the carnival rides and attractions inside. They had to ride these helicopters twice ($8 per ride).

I think my favorite part of the trip happened on the way home. The kiddos fell asleep at about 5:00 pm and woke up hungry and whiny around 7:00. We were in the middle of the 2 1/2 hour stretch of desert....and I mean nothing but desert. Hazel had to pee in the rocks on the side of the road (which she loved). Anyway- as we pulled into Wikieup, there was a little rest stop/ restaurant that we took advantage of. It was a family-run business and the girl there was just as friendly as can be. She struck up a conversation as we waited for the credit card machine to work.

girl: "How you guys doin'?"

me: "Good. We're just kind of tired"

girl: "Have you been drivin' a long time?"

me: "We are just on our way home from Las Vegas"

girl: "Oh! Did you have a good time?"

me: "It was fun...I just think we need to go without the kids next time."

girl: " I know what you mean. We got married there and I was wishing we had a babysitter that night!"

me: silence....

Not So Scary Movie

Disclaimer:
This post is in no way an opportunity to make fun of my sister...ok- it is a little bit. But that is not it's main purpose.

Meredith told me that they rented a movie called 1408 and her strange husband wanted to watch the trailer before they watched the movie. Well, Meredith was so scared by the trailer that she made Jon-David return the movie. So I thought "I HAVE to rent that movie!" I like to be scared, but "scary" movies these days just don't seem to be scary! Nathan and I watched 1408 tonight and just looked at each other at the end like "What the crap?!" It was just weird and spastic.

Give me an hour of recorded 911 calls if you really want to scare me. There are just too many things in real life to be scared of for me to be scared by Jon Cusack spinning in a circle with a look on his face like he just rode a really good roller coaster.

Dead Man Walking

Owen: I've had the chocolate whoppers before, but I've never tried the strawberry ones.
Me: That's a sad story, Owen.
Owen: I'm going to have some when I'm a grown up....when my parents are dead.
Daddy: Your parents don't have to be dead for you to be a grown up. I'm a grown up and my parents aren't dead.
Owen: But your parents LOOK like they are almost dead. Grandaddy is a REALLY old man.

Pissed Off (and on...)

Our patio has had a strange odor for the past month. At first we tried to find out what the source was, and then we just decided to be smart about the whole situation and not go on the patio anymore.....

Obviously that didn't last long since I am trapped in a two bedroom apartment with two crazy kids. We have to get out every once in a while or the neighbors start calling DFACS. So I was noticing that there was a lot of dog doo in the desert grass (rocks) in front of our patio. I called the manager to complain and he said he would send the grounds people back to rake it up. But there was just a new stash of doodie the next day. Then some strange things started appearing (a bag of poop in one of our bushes, a dustpan smeared with...guess....that's right... it-shay) that made me start questioning this smell a little more. Finally, I came out to the patio one day and found a turd (I'm going to try to use a new word for it each time it is mentioned) balancing on top of my gate. I thought, "Wow- either that is an EXTREMELY limber dog, or that crap came from above."

So my next call to the manager was to tell him that I was pretty sure the people two stories above us were letting their dogs stinky on the balcony and then they were sweeping it over the edge...and therefore poisoning the tiny piece of ground that my children have on which to play. As you can imagine, I was slightly peeved.

All my assumptions were confirmed today as I stood at the edge of my patio watching my precious children "get out their energy" (this is what I call it when the neighbors give us crusty looks...but they usually don't think it's as cute as I do- or so I have gathered from all the fingers I have been shot). So, I'm standing there talking to my neighbor and all of a sudden Hazel says "It's raining!" just as I feel a few droplets of liquid hit my head. I quickly jumped out of the way and looked up to see a sweet doggie pissing on my head from the balcony above.

Of course I immediately called my manager back and gave him an earful (I might have used even more vulgar language than "pissing"). But I just don't feel like anything he does can make up for the damage to the things on my patio, not to mention the emotional damage after having my head peed on. So I am contemplating revenge. My father had the INGENIOUS suggestion of filling a water gun with my own pee and squirting it through her windows (which are always open). So, unless you have an even better suggestion, expect to hear about my water gun skills in the near future. :)

"Dirty" Dreams

Some people have been wondering whether or not I ever checked out the picture in Owen's dream journal. I have. I was considering scanning it and posting the picture, but G-Daddy says that would embarass him, so I have reconsidered. Instead I will just say this....it looks like a third leg. That little boy lacks no confidence.

If you don't know what I am talking about, don't ask me to explain! :)

Kiddos

Ok- I feel like I don't have anything new or exciting to post, so here are just a couple of cute (in my personal, unbiased opinion) stories about the kids.



Hazel's isn't really a story, but she is constantly stripping lately (which I'm sure is pretty typical for little girls her age...or she is just an exhibitionist in the making). She is just so darn proud of being able to manipulate zippers and buttons, so she has to show her skills as often as possible. So here she is parading around without a shirt. I expecially love these pics because it shows her lack of a booty (and hips). I swear...I can never find pants that fit this little girl.


I removed this picture because my paranoid concerned family thought it was too provocative for the pervs out there.

Look at that skinny little midget! Ha.

Owen was laying down in the booth at a restaurant and said "Mom, people keep walking by me and don't even realize me. I am so still and quiet they think I'm a statue."

Another Owen story that my mom thinks I should share is about Owen randomly bursting out in laughter in the car the other day and saying "Ha. I just thought of something so funny." When I asked him what, he said "I can't tell you because it has a bad word in it." I said "Maybe you shouldn't be laughing at it, then." He said "It was just a dream I had and I drew a picture of it in my dream journal."

Anyway- without telling you the entire conversation, apparently he had a dream about falling from outerspace in the buff. He thought he couldn't tell me about it because he would have to say the word penis (which apparently he drew a picture of in his journal...I definitely need to check that out!). We have always called it a penis, so I'm not sure why he all of a sudden thinks that is a bad word, but you should have heard the way he said it....out of the corner of his mouth- afraid to say it too loud.

Dream Dog

I have been asking Nathan for a Yorkshire terrier for about 4 years. I just think they are the cutest little scruffy dogs in the world. Well- some friends from church asked me to dog- sit for their teeny little 4 pound yorkie (Chloe) and I am pretty much in love with her. She is so precious and sweet...and she has a broken leg which makes me love her more. Little do they know that they will come home to painted toenails and a pink studded collar (not to mention the fact that I plan to carry her in my purse everywhere I go). :)

Anyway- I am loving having her here and I think it is good prep for Nathan. He rolled his eyes when I told him I would be watching her, but after about 15 minutes he was cuddling with her on the bed and laughing at everything she did. He admitted that she is adorable and I can tell he loves her! HA! Trickery.

Spell Check

So....I was talking to Meredith today and telling her a funny (but old) story about Owen. Some of you have already heard it, but here's a quick recap. We were in the store and all of a sudden Owen yelled "Give me a juice box beeatch!"

Meredith laughed hysterically and said "You have to blog that" which then caused a huge debate (between me and everyone I know) about how to spell biatch. Beeotch. B-otch. Biotch. Beahtch? Bee-outch?

Who knows? Either way....CAN YOU BELIEVE HE SAID THAT?!?!?! Apparently he heard it on Zathura (which I am pretty sure Daddy let him watch without asking me). So- apparently that movie should have a parental advisory...don't let your kids watch it or they will humiliate you in public. Thank you Zathura for teaching my child to say beeeiiiaahhtttcchhhh.

The Best I Can Be

Here's my thought this evening. I received an email from a good friend today that really made me think about my role as a mother. I had (and still have) a big fear that I would be a crappy mom. I am still scared almost every day that I am failing, failing, failing! I cry often when I think about how my kids might feel towards me when they grow up. I guess by having kids I am taking the chance that one or two people may grow up hating me. All I can do is try my hardest each day. Many times my hardest isn't all that great, but I have to keep trying. Maybe they will still grow up to think I am a crappy mom. I think a lot of that has to do with the personality of the child, also. The most unfortunate thing about being a mother is that everything is your fault....for the rest of their lives. And I'm sure I will look back and think about all the crappy things I did as a mom and I will feel inadequate, but I will also know that I loved them and fed them and bathed them and read to them and taught them and held them and cried over them and prayed for them and fought for them and always, always wanted the best for them... basically just did my best to be the only mom I knew how to be. It's not like I got to practice a few times before becoming a mom for real. I just have to remind myself that I am the best mom they have....because I am the ONLY mom they have. Hopefully they can love me for what I am. :)

Pee-pee frenzy

My kids both had Gatorade today and have been making a lot of trips to the bathroom since then. Owen just walked by me on his way to the bathroom (thrid time in the past hour) and said "Why in the world do I have to pee again when I already went two times! Am I just going to pee like 50 times today? Next time I feel like I have to pee I'm just not going to!!! I'm sick of peeing"

Welcome to my world, son.

Then he was playing with his new rubik's cube and said "I'm taking my new game cube to Heaven with me because it's going to be in my hand when I die."

Speaking of heaven...yesterday he was looking at a picture of the tree of life and said "Is there still gonna be fruit on that tree when I make it to heaven? Cause I really want to try some."

Love him.

Confessions of a heartbroken Mommy

Hazel has been having a really hard time falling asleep and staying asleep for the past couple of months. I don't know what is going on with her, but it is very easy to get frustrated and end up yelling or even spanking her at bedtime. It's the end of the day, we have been counting down the seconds until we could put the kids to bed...so it's infuriating to close their bedroom door, thinking it's all over, only to have Hazel get out of bed 5 more times asking for various things (go pee-pee, cold water, another hug, etc.) that she has already been given. We usually start out this ritual with patience, but after about an hour, we have both lost it. Then when she gets up in the middle of the night screaming and crying, it's so hard to be sympathetic.

Last night, I got up at about 3:30 to use the bathroom and saw a light shining under my bedroom door. I walked out to the living room and found this:

It broke my heart. She got up and didn't want to get yelled at, so she just turned on the lights and put herself back to sleep on the couch. I wonder if she is having nightmares or something! I am a horrible mommy!!!! I swooped her up (after taking her picture, of course) and hugged and kissed her. She mumbled "Cold water...cold water" as I carried her back to her bed and then sweetly looked at me and said "Goodnight, Mommy. I love you."

-sigh-

Owenisms

Here are just a few funny recent Owenisms...

1. Owen: I wish I was a grown-up so I could say when I would do stuff and where I could go.
Me: Yeah- that's pretty nice
......long pause.......
Owen: When I'm a grown-up, I will be able to spell really big words like "internet scheduling" and "the party starts now."


2. Me (on the phone with Meredith): "Can I tell you something really annoying about my K-I-D-S?"
Owen: "KIDS!"
Me (to Mere): "OK. I guess spelling things isn't going to work anymore."
Owen: "You can't use Pig-latin either, cause I know what you are saying in Pig-latin"


3. Owen: Dad...can we go to Plaquebusters?
.....pause where dad and i wonder how he came up with such a creative name for the dentist....
Me: What do you want to do there?
Owen: Get Shrek 3
Me: OH!!! Blockbuster!


4. Owen (taking a drink of water before laying down to sleep): What is this?!?! Bath water?!?
Pool water?!? This is nasty!


5. Owen (getting his teeth brushed with his new toothpaste from Santa): Gross! This toothpaste tastes like corn dip!


6. One night I was looking at baby pictures of Owen and Hazel and the kids joined me. We looked for a while and talked about how cute they were and then I asked Owen "Do you want Mommy to have another baby?" and he thought for a while before saying "I'd rather have a new cat." I said "Me too. I'm glad we are on the same page!"


7. Sniffing a page in their Pat the Bunny book, Owen said "That smells like dead grandmas"


8. Owen asked for a glass of water at unlce Chris and aunt Erin's house. When Erin brought it to him, he looked at it for a minute with a perplexed look and then said "I didn't need like 50 pieces of ice!"


9. Owen: Dad, Why can't everyone in the world be like me?



Hazel has some pretty cute moments too...

Mom: Hazel...I think you're precious.
Hazel (confused): I AM precious!

Car Update

Nathan picked his car up today. He had to pay $250 to take it off the lot. The gun was gone. The stereo was gutted. His Forest Gump license plate was gone (oh darn). They left all kinds of goodies in the car (roaches in the ashtray, gloves, a garage door opener, a genuine topaz ring, a diabetic kit, a makeup brush set, a half-eaten butterfinger, a ford manual....and much more!).
He was able to drive it home, but it was making all kinds of new noises and I am scared for him to continue driving it! It already desperately needed a tune-up and brake pads, and who knows what it needs now! We'll see what happens. :)