Hazel has been having a really hard time falling asleep and staying asleep for the past couple of months. I don't know what is going on with her, but it is very easy to get frustrated and end up yelling or even spanking her at bedtime. It's the end of the day, we have been counting down the seconds until we could put the kids to bed...so it's infuriating to close their bedroom door, thinking it's all over, only to have Hazel get out of bed 5 more times asking for various things (go pee-pee, cold water, another hug, etc.) that she has already been given. We usually start out this ritual with patience, but after about an hour, we have both lost it. Then when she gets up in the middle of the night screaming and crying, it's so hard to be sympathetic.
Last night, I got up at about 3:30 to use the bathroom and saw a light shining under my bedroom door. I walked out to the living room and found this:
It broke my heart. She got up and didn't want to get yelled at, so she just turned on the lights and put herself back to sleep on the couch. I wonder if she is having nightmares or something! I am a horrible mommy!!!! I swooped her up (after taking her picture, of course) and hugged and kissed her. She mumbled "Cold water...cold water" as I carried her back to her bed and then sweetly looked at me and said "Goodnight, Mommy. I love you."
-sigh-
