In one short month, I will be here. I can hardly believe it. Nathan and I have never been....well...anywhere. I told him I am totally counting this as our first "out of the country" adventure together. It counts, okay?
I don't even know what to think. It totally hasn't sunk in. I have looked at the pictures and listened as Nathan tells me of volcano tours, and surf lessons,but all I am thinking about is cleaning the house, shopping trips to find the right kind of clothes, cleaning out my car, shopping for groceries, organizing all the kids' activities, and GUILT!!!!! I don't mean the regular kind of mom guilt. This is worse than I have ever felt. I can't believe we are leaving our kids for an entire week. They have never been away from both of us like this. We are leaving them with amazing friends who I know will treat them as their own, but it doesn't help my guilt even the tiniest bit. I get stomach pains thinking about it. My kids are pretty old. Are they going to remember this and resent me for it forever?! They both felt very betrayed when they found out we were taking such an awesome trip without them...
WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME!?
I should be jumping for joy! No 2 am wake-up calls from Hazel. No homework. No fighting traffic @ the school. No fights over who is touching who or who did something the fastest or who is going to sit where. No yelling, no headaches, no crying, no whining....
The problem is, this also means no sweet little kisses. No listening to Hazel rattle off the entire day's events in 2 minutes. No wrapping my arms around those warm little bodies and sneaking in a good bum squeeze whenever I want. No hearing Owen's overly mature insights. I won't get to see their excited little faces for a whole week.
Will they be okay?
Will I be okay?
I literally get choked up thinking about it. I guess skype will become my best friend.
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