Pissed Off (and on...)

Our patio has had a strange odor for the past month. At first we tried to find out what the source was, and then we just decided to be smart about the whole situation and not go on the patio anymore.....

Obviously that didn't last long since I am trapped in a two bedroom apartment with two crazy kids. We have to get out every once in a while or the neighbors start calling DFACS. So I was noticing that there was a lot of dog doo in the desert grass (rocks) in front of our patio. I called the manager to complain and he said he would send the grounds people back to rake it up. But there was just a new stash of doodie the next day. Then some strange things started appearing (a bag of poop in one of our bushes, a dustpan smeared with...guess....that's right... it-shay) that made me start questioning this smell a little more. Finally, I came out to the patio one day and found a turd (I'm going to try to use a new word for it each time it is mentioned) balancing on top of my gate. I thought, "Wow- either that is an EXTREMELY limber dog, or that crap came from above."

So my next call to the manager was to tell him that I was pretty sure the people two stories above us were letting their dogs stinky on the balcony and then they were sweeping it over the edge...and therefore poisoning the tiny piece of ground that my children have on which to play. As you can imagine, I was slightly peeved.

All my assumptions were confirmed today as I stood at the edge of my patio watching my precious children "get out their energy" (this is what I call it when the neighbors give us crusty looks...but they usually don't think it's as cute as I do- or so I have gathered from all the fingers I have been shot). So, I'm standing there talking to my neighbor and all of a sudden Hazel says "It's raining!" just as I feel a few droplets of liquid hit my head. I quickly jumped out of the way and looked up to see a sweet doggie pissing on my head from the balcony above.

Of course I immediately called my manager back and gave him an earful (I might have used even more vulgar language than "pissing"). But I just don't feel like anything he does can make up for the damage to the things on my patio, not to mention the emotional damage after having my head peed on. So I am contemplating revenge. My father had the INGENIOUS suggestion of filling a water gun with my own pee and squirting it through her windows (which are always open). So, unless you have an even better suggestion, expect to hear about my water gun skills in the near future. :)