Hazelisms

We always talk about how it is the LAW for Hazel and Owen to wear their seat belts. Hazel always wants to know what will happen if she doesn't, and I tell her that the police will take her mommy to jail.

We stopped at the bank yesterday and Meredith took Kyle out of his car seat so she could feed him. Hazel stared at her for a minute and then asked "Is Kyle under arrest?"

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"MOM! My breath is hungry for some gum!!!"

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I have some jeans that are a pretty dark wash with a worn look. In the middle of a store, Hazel walked up to me, felt my crotch and asked "Are you wet?"

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Sitting in the car with Meredith, she was trying to get Nick (our neighbor)'s attention, and then she said "I love Nick."

Meredith said "Awww...that's sweet!" and Hazel said "But I shouldn't love him when he's naked."

Luckily, upon investigation, we realized she meant when he is working in the yard with his shirt off.

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She was pointing out her bedroom window (which looks out to the back patio) and said "There's a bad guy under the oven." and I said "What?!?!"

(a little more insistently) "A bad guy under the TOASTER!"

She saw that I was still confused and she yelled "THE HOT DOG! THE HOT DOG!"

That's when I realized she was pointing at the grill with it's cover on.