Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Deja Vu

While working today, there was an open window through which I could hear the screams of a wild monkey. Then I thought "Wait a minute. I'm not in South America. Why is there a wild monkey outside?" so I went outside to check it out. This sweet little quail couple was sitting right outside the door. When I opened the door, they bolted and their noises changed to soft yips.

As most of you know, I am a lover of all God's creatures (*disclaimer* I firmly believe that Satan created pigeons and spiders). I whipped my phone out to take a picture of the loving couple. Then I heard a rustling in the bushes next to me and realized that there was a nest full of babies that Mom and Dad were warning with their calls. So I did what any animal lover would do and kicked the bush a couple of times so I could scare them out and get another picture. I swear there's a baby there. It's right in the corner and looks like a pile of spotted pebbles.

It brought to mind an experience I had circa six years ago. Our home in GA was across from a new neighborhood that was being plotted out for future building. It was basically trees and REALLY tall grass and some stacks of building materials. Nathan and I took a walk down said street one day and came across these:wild-turkey-chicks.jpg

Aren't they precious? I thought "Awwwww- baby ducks! There's no water around here! Where did they come from? Poor things. I will follow them and catch them and cuddle with them." A perfectly reasonable thought, no? I didn't stop to wonder why these ducklings had such long legs.

Let me tell you....you don't know fear until a wild mama turkey hen raises up out of the tall grass beside you and displays her five foot wingspan in an obvious threat to your life.

Recalling this encounter made me feel a wee bit of detestation for these quail. I mean, sure, they clucked and yelped to warn their babies of danger, but they ran away! And I'm talkin' FAR away. The closer I got to the nest, the further mom and dad ran. How sad is that? What makes one bird fiercly protective of her young and the other so self-serving? Any thoughts? Give it to me Cyndi- I know you will have some thoughts. ;)

Saturday, April 18, 2009

Other People's Stories....

I was complaining to a friend about Hazel's horrible sleep issues. The night before she had been up 5 or 6 times and I was feeling like a zombie. Before you all give unsolicited advice, we have tried almost everything, so just let it be. ;)

Anyway, my friend told me that when she was little she shared a room with three other siblings and she was still sleeping in a crib at the age of four becuase there was nowhere else for her to sleep. So one night she was throwing a fit about sleeping and her mother finally got fed up and crawled into the crib with her. The crib obviously collapsed.

I laughed hysterically at this story because I can SO relate to that poor mother's frustration. It's the middle of the night and you are SO tired that you can't even think straight and you will do just about anything to get that child to SHUT UP! It's just funny that we all share similar stories even when we feel like there is no one out there who understands our troubles.


Today, Owen flopped himself onto his bed. Unbeknownst to him, there was a rock solid (possibly made of iron) antique piggy bank on his bed and he slammed the back of his head on it.

He cried, I comforted, we moved on and thought nothing of it.

Then, tonight when I was giving him a bath, he screamed when I washed his hair. Then he screamed again when I dried his hair with the towel. I finally looked at the back of his head and he totally had a big gash there! Crusty blood mingled with fresh blood (not to mention the size and crookedness of the gash) got me a little worried.

Anyway-as I was inspecting the wound, Hazel was leaning over his head and making sympathetic noises. Clicking her tongue, sucking air through her teeth, etc. Then she said in a really sad, worried voice:

"Oooohhhhh...I can see his nuts inside his head!"


I guess when the only person you have to play with is your big brother (or your little sister), you are willing to adapt your familiar imaginings to the liking of your playmate.

Owen and Hazel were in the bathtub tonight and the only toys that had been left in there from the previous bath were princesses. So after a few minutes, I heard this coming from the bathroom:

Owen: *explosion noises and gunfire*

Hazel: "No! Run, Ariel!" "Okay, Belle"

Owen: "Cinderella's going to kill you!"

Whatever makes them play nicely together is fine by me.

Thursday, April 16, 2009


"What if water came in our house till our whole house was filled up and we were all under water and a big piece of asparagus- THIS big- was in the water and it was in front of our eyes so we couldn't see anything and I was like 'Hey I can't see anything. This asparagus is too big'? That would be awesome."

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

The Girls

Can I just gush for a minute? I love my Young Women. LOVE! I actually can't believe I haven't posted about them before this. I haven't stopped thinking about them since I was called as YW president on March 22nd. They are such a diverse group of girls, and they are all so smart and witty and talented and beautiful. I just love being around them.

So....tonight we went on a night hike up North Mountain. I'm pretty sure my legs died and fell off my body halfway up the mountain (especially since I did dead lifts at the gym this morning), but we had a BLAST. I'm sure some of the girls wouldn't use the word blast, but I thought everyone seemed to enjoy themselves in their own special way. :)

Most of the crew (a couple of girls went down the other side of the mountain).

Our wildly fun presidency

Oh wait...we're being serious now?
Our caRAzy bishop...
...who walked all the way to the top holding an infant.
Some of the girls (and Tamera) decided it would be cool to roll down the steep parking lot pavement. Ouch. I could hear skin slapping the pavement over and over.

Lacie & Jordan
We did it!!!

Amanda and Melanie were ready to go and got sick of us taking pictures...so of course we took their picture.

Summer, Casey and Amanda made it down way before anyone else. Could that be because they never went to the top?!?! ;)

Jordan and Karalyn looking adorable

I have to share one very classic Jordan moment because I know she will be reading this. She decided to tell a blonde joke and she told it like this:
"How do you drown a blonde in a swimming pool? You put a mirror on the bottom of the ground."
We think she meant the bottom of the pool, but maybe we were all confused.
A couple of weeks ago we made ice cream in plastic bags. It was an interesting experiment. Luckily these girls can make just about anything fun and exciting.
Melanie being Melanie
Is it working?

Karen shaking the heck out of her bag

Ice cream makes Alicia happy
I can't wait for girls camp. I just can't get enough of them!!!

Sunday, April 12, 2009

You know your wardrobe is limited when....

...the following conversation ensues with your 6 yr. old.

Owen: I'm sleepy. Maybe we should all go home and take naps (giggles here because the idea is ludicrous in his mind).


Owen: Do you take a nap every day, Mom?

Me: No. In fact, I was gone all day today working. I barely had time to take a shower before I picked you up.

Owen: Ohhhhh....you took a shower! THAT'S why you're wearing those clothes.

Me: What do you mean?

Owen: Every time you take a shower you put those same clothes on.


And as a side note, yesterday he said:

"Do we have to go to church tomorrow?"

and I said "Yes- it's Sunday"

and he said (in a whiny voice) "But it's EASTER!"

And yes- we definitely had a talk about what Easter is a celebration of.

Thursday, April 9, 2009

Hazel is FOUR!

I can't believe my sweet little baby is FOUR YEARS OLD! It's incredible. She had a really hard time understanding the fact that her birthday was today but her party was not until tomorrow. Soooo...we let her open her gifts from the out-of-towners today so that she would feel special on her bday. Lucky for you, she opened her gifts in my bedroom...the junkiest room in the house. Enjoy...

Aunt Paige sent her a My Little Pony Salon that she just couldn't stop playing with. She came back to it over and over throughout the day.

Notice the little mannequin heads on the top with all of the different hairstyles that pony can try on? She pretended those were the baby ponies and they sang their names (Sally, Emma and Emily) over and over. Kind of creepy.

She even got inspired and pulled out one of her bigger ponies so she could play with it's hair. She brought it to me looking like this and said "Look! She's fancy!" She has about 6 million of Hazel's clippies in her hair.

Paige also sent her some Disney Princess pajamas. I actually managed to catch her reaction as she opened them... And then immediately put them on...

Ghee and Sarah went the Barbie route. They got her a Barbie that she keeps seeing on TV that has a pet dog with a puppy. It comes with a bath to wash the dogs in. Apparently something was missing, though. In the commercial, the dogs get in the mud and have to be washed off. When she opened the gift, she stared at the box for the longest time and then finally asked "Where's the mud?" She was easily appeased when she realized the tub had a functioning shower head. She wanted it opened immediately so she could make the mommy dog and baby dog cuddle together.

They also sent her a new Ken doll and a wedding dress (because she told me she wanted her barbie to get married). She was SO excited about the dress and immediately took Barbie out of her dog-washing clothes so that she could rush off to her wedding with Beach Party Ken.
Obviously Ken didn't realize that he was supposed to dress up for the occasion, but Barbie still looked pretty happy about the whole affair.

Carly heard all the commotion and poked her head out to see what was going on...

then spent a good ten minutes trying to get the ponies opened so she could attack them.

I had a talk with Hazel later this afternoon about how she should act at her party. She is a typical four yr. old and has the tendency to rip through one present after another without giving herself any time to react. I explained to her that people want to know how she feels about their present and that she should take the time to thank each person before moving on to the next gift. I don't actually expect this lesson to stick, but I thought it was at least time to start drilling it into her head.
I was giving her some examples of what she could say when opening a gift and she sad "Or like 'Oh, Thank you so much! This is the perfect thing I always wanted!' " I said "That works!"
I can't wait to see what she says tomorrow! I am already prepping myself for the laughter.

Monday, April 6, 2009


We always talk about how it is the LAW for Hazel and Owen to wear their seat belts. Hazel always wants to know what will happen if she doesn't, and I tell her that the police will take her mommy to jail.

We stopped at the bank yesterday and Meredith took Kyle out of his car seat so she could feed him. Hazel stared at her for a minute and then asked "Is Kyle under arrest?"


"MOM! My breath is hungry for some gum!!!"


I have some jeans that are a pretty dark wash with a worn look. In the middle of a store, Hazel walked up to me, felt my crotch and asked "Are you wet?"


Sitting in the car with Meredith, she was trying to get Nick (our neighbor)'s attention, and then she said "I love Nick."

Meredith said "Awww...that's sweet!" and Hazel said "But I shouldn't love him when he's naked."

Luckily, upon investigation, we realized she meant when he is working in the yard with his shirt off.


She was pointing out her bedroom window (which looks out to the back patio) and said "There's a bad guy under the oven." and I said "What?!?!"

(a little more insistently) "A bad guy under the TOASTER!"

She saw that I was still confused and she yelled "THE HOT DOG! THE HOT DOG!"

That's when I realized she was pointing at the grill with it's cover on.

Thursday, April 2, 2009

On this, the most important day of the year.....my birthday....

6:30- Rise and shine
6:31- Check Facebook to see how many GA friends have wished me a happy birthday
6:45- Get the kids dressed and fed
7:30-10:30- Nathan took Owen to school and he and Hazel ran errands. I threw on some dirty clothes and headed outside to clean the grill, pressure wash the patio, and pull a bunch of weeds. Then I laid in the hammock under this beautiful tree and listened to classical music on my ipod mingled with the sounds of nature.

Then this precious mockingbird landed above my head. For a good ten minutes he favored me with his entire repertoire of songs. It was seriously so beautiful and peaceful and relaxing. I almost didn't care that he pooped twice on my freshly washed porch.

10:30- Dropped off some stuff at Goodwill. Went to the carwash and came home with a beautiful, clean car.
11:20- Showered and had a Subway sandwich delivered to me (thank you, hubby) while I laid in bed and watched some shows on my DVR.

I was almost asleep in my bed- ready for a nap- thinking that I had had the best birthday- when Nathan and Hazel got home. Hazel yelled "MOM! We have a surprise for you!" and when I said "Hold on" I heard Nathan in the background saying "Nope- we can't hold on."

I begrudgingly hoisted myself from the bed and walked into my kitchen. Standing at my front door was my sister and best friend, Meredith. My sister who lives in Georgia and has a newborn. Apparently my whole family knew about it for the past month and nobody leaked the secret. It is really hard to pull one over on me and they all did. I didn't expect it for a second. In fact, I think I had a miniature heart attack. I have never gone through such a wide range of emotions in such a short period of time.

I stopped dead in my tracks and stood there in silent shock. Then I think I cursed. My heart was racing and my legs were tingling. Seriousy. Some kind of weird attack. Then a millisecond later I was jumping up and down and screaming and laughing. Then I burst into tears. I still can't believe it. It was by far the best gift I have ever received for any occasion.
Here's how we felt about seeing each other

Then we met Chris and Erin and baby T at Buca di Beppo for a giant pasta dinner. Yum!!!!

Thanks to everyone who helped give me an awesome day!!!! I love you!!!!

Wednesday, April 1, 2009


I left the house today without my phone. What did we do before cell phones?! I was gone for a total of 4 1/2 hours and the whole time I was thinking of all the important calls I could possibly be missing.

1. Owen is lost at the zoo (he's on a field trip today)
2. Your house is on fire.
3. Your husband has been in an accident.
4. You just won a million dollars.
5. Everyone you know just died.

Seriously, though...I felt so stressed out the whole time I was gone. I couldn't see all my facebook notifications, emails, or messages until I got home. I didn't realize how dependent I am.


I cleaned a house yesterday- an empty rental property. The tenants had just moved out. This place was probably 1300 sq. ft. There was brand new carpet, so I didn't have to mess with that. There were brand new tile floors in the bathrooms and kitchen. There was new paint on all the walls. The oven, the dishwasher, and the blinds were all being replaced. I thought I was going to be able to breeze through that place in a couple of hours. It took me EIGHT HOURS to clean. I can't even explain how disgusting the bathrooms were. I had to scrape the tub with a credit card to get the build up off of the sides. I had to use a tootbrush around the toilet seat to get all the goop out of the crevices. Every single light switch and outlet was almost black with dirty fingerprints. The ceiling fans were literally dripping with dust and cobwebs. The windows (on the inside) had to be scrubbed with a sponge before they would come clean. I spent two hours alone on the refrigerator. I had to use a metal scraper on the inside of the fridge to get off the sticky, gooey spills and food that had piled up over the years. I had to use that same scraper on the fronts of the kitchen cabinets because they were caked with grease and food.

Don't get me wrong. I LOVE my job. I love to clean and I love seeing the job get done well and I love the money I make. :) But I get so mad when a place is like that. People LIVED there. They bathed in that tub! They put their food in that refrigerator! I just don't get it. I get that some people aren't as meticulous as others, but people that NEVER clean ANYTHING!?!?!?! I do NOT get that. And it disgusts me.

And to top it all off, by the time I was done there was a half-dead pigeon on the front walkway and I had to push it into the bushes with my broom and it just let me push it along while it pooped all over my broom and the sidewalk. Oh man, I hate pigeons. I tried to purposely hit one with my car today. Am I going to hell?


This morning I woke up at 7:15 and walked out into my living room to find Owen sitting on the couch with his school directory opened in his lap, the phone up to his ear. I gasped and said "WHO are you talking to at 7:15 in the morning?!?" He said, "Kyle."

Needless to say, I had to get Kyle's mom on the phone and apologize profusely. Luckily she had a sense of humor about the whole thing.


My teeth are rotting. I just don't understand. Nathan gives me a hard time about how long I take to brush my teeth. I never fail to brush them twice a day. I never fail to floss at night. So why are my teeth so crappy? I literally have a huge hole in one of my molars. I just discovered it the other day. Just a big ol' hole straight down to the nerve. And a molar on the other side causes me random, occasional, excruciating pain when I bite down on things like bread....a noodle....a french fry. Things you wouldn't expect to hurt. I just already have so much silver in my mouth I can't stand the thought of getting more. :(

I know I am addicted to sugar (as Meredith pointed out), but I would think that if I brushed and flossed regularly that wouldn't matter. It's not like I'm eating sweets all day long....most of the time. So frustrating.