Sunday, May 24, 2009

Oh, the HORROR!!!

Ok- this is NOT the part of my post that earned it it's title. Just a few Hazelisms I wanted to share before I freak your freak.

After the blessing of the sacrament on Sunday, Hazel turned to me and whispered "Mom...was that Jesus talking?" SO precious!

Then halfway through church I was in the hall and she appeared out of nowhere
(supposed to be in class) and came running down the hall screaming "MOM! I touched poop in a bag!" Imagine my bewilderment! I just stared at her for a second. I wasn't even sure where my line of questioning should begin. Then her teachers came around the corner and explained that they had been on a walk and saw a bag on the ground. Trying to teach her about keeping God's earth clean, they said "Let's pick up the bag and put it in the trashcan." Lo and behold...the bag was filled with poop. Of course. You know, come to think of it...I never found out if they took a trip to the bathroom after that to wash hands.
As I was typing this, she grabbed a jar of rubber cement and asked me if it was medicine for cows. LOL. Get it? There's a picture of a bull on the front.


On a far less humurous note, I stripped down last night to take a shower, opened the curtain and saw a huge cockroach chillin on the wall- just waiting for a poor, naked, unsuspecting victim like myself. So I screamed for Nathan and he brought some bug spray and a fly swatter and did work on the roach. What a man.
When I got out of the shower, I decided to spray the whole bathroom.
Within a couple of seconds, I saw a bunch of big black and red ants. Like ten of them! I called Nathan again and we started squishing them with tissues and properly disposing of them (in the tiolet). We determined that they seemed to be coming from behind the mirror, so I sprayed around the edges of the mirror and left the bathroom.
When I returned, I stepped into a real-life horror film. My entire bathroom was under attack. There were ants EVERYWHERE. They were literally scaling the walls, swimming in our sinks and dripping from the ceiling. It was disgusting. I gagged repeatedly. Unfortunately, I didn't think quickly enough to record the live evidence. My only concern was to turn it into dead evidence. Nathan fogged the whole room, shut the door and plugged up the cracks with a towel. They were all dead in the morning and yours truly had the pleasure of sweeping them up. I counted about 250, and I have seen more creeping out throughout the day which means we probably didn't even phase the majority of them. Time to bring in the professionals!
I sure wish these pictures even began to do justice....

Posted by Picasa