Sunday, May 24, 2009

Oh, the HORROR!!!

Ok- this is NOT the part of my post that earned it it's title. Just a few Hazelisms I wanted to share before I freak your freak.




After the blessing of the sacrament on Sunday, Hazel turned to me and whispered "Mom...was that Jesus talking?" SO precious!

Then halfway through church I was in the hall and she appeared out of nowhere
(supposed to be in class) and came running down the hall screaming "MOM! I touched poop in a bag!" Imagine my bewilderment! I just stared at her for a second. I wasn't even sure where my line of questioning should begin. Then her teachers came around the corner and explained that they had been on a walk and saw a bag on the ground. Trying to teach her about keeping God's earth clean, they said "Let's pick up the bag and put it in the trashcan." Lo and behold...the bag was filled with poop. Of course. You know, come to think of it...I never found out if they took a trip to the bathroom after that to wash hands.
As I was typing this, she grabbed a jar of rubber cement and asked me if it was medicine for cows. LOL. Get it? There's a picture of a bull on the front.

____________________________

On a far less humurous note, I stripped down last night to take a shower, opened the curtain and saw a huge cockroach chillin on the wall- just waiting for a poor, naked, unsuspecting victim like myself. So I screamed for Nathan and he brought some bug spray and a fly swatter and did work on the roach. What a man.
When I got out of the shower, I decided to spray the whole bathroom.
Within a couple of seconds, I saw a bunch of big black and red ants. Like ten of them! I called Nathan again and we started squishing them with tissues and properly disposing of them (in the tiolet). We determined that they seemed to be coming from behind the mirror, so I sprayed around the edges of the mirror and left the bathroom.
When I returned, I stepped into a real-life horror film. My entire bathroom was under attack. There were ants EVERYWHERE. They were literally scaling the walls, swimming in our sinks and dripping from the ceiling. It was disgusting. I gagged repeatedly. Unfortunately, I didn't think quickly enough to record the live evidence. My only concern was to turn it into dead evidence. Nathan fogged the whole room, shut the door and plugged up the cracks with a towel. They were all dead in the morning and yours truly had the pleasure of sweeping them up. I counted about 250, and I have seen more creeping out throughout the day which means we probably didn't even phase the majority of them. Time to bring in the professionals!
I sure wish these pictures even began to do justice....



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10 comments:

Teresa said...

You were ever so wise to start your blog with the cute Hazel stories, because I'm still feeling creepy crawly after reading about the red ants. That truly is HORRORible. It's going to take a few minutes to get those images out of my mind. Thanks a lot, Lindsey. ;-)

Cynthia said...

Oh yuck! Where were they coming from? In the wall? Had you ever seen them in your bathroom before? I'd hate to have to go to the bathroom in the night for a few nights til I knew they took their army elsewhere.
And . . . what a sweet primary experience. I've never seen that lesson in the manual - "poop in a bag".

Paige said...

EW. Ew ew ew.

Sarah said...

gross i was eating when i read this....and why do you have bug "fog" on hand in your house?

Lindsey said...

I don't actually have fog. What I meant was that I sprayed SO MUCH roach and ant killer (I should have taken the hint when I realized it was left by the last tenant) that it created a fog in my bathroom.

Dionne said...

That is so nasty. I would die.

Anonymous said...

'Tis the season...

Last year at about this time, our bathroom & bedroom was swarmed by an ant colony too. Only, it was pitch black 3 AM when I got up (because I am an old lady). I didn't notice anything because I didn't bother to turn the light on. Once back in bed, my feet were stinging and itching like crazy! I turned on the light - and started screaming. They were ALL over the bedroom carpet, and seemed to be coming from the bathroom which has no window, by the way.

My husband attacked them, too. Thank goodness for men doing a man's job. We discovered their entry point was a tiny crack in the wall cupboard about eye level. I went outside at first light, and there in a crack in the foundation outside was a giant brand new nest humming with ant activity. We nuked it. I read everything I could about swarming ants, and I guess it's what they do in the late Spring when they have a new Queen and need to establish a new household.

You were very brave to battle with your man side by side. I was a hysterical blob.

Meredith said...

NASTY! I too recently had the ant infestation...but, nothing that bad. Those suckers look big too!!

Hazel is just precious! I love the cow medicine.

Nicole said...

Gross!! I do have to say we've been there...right when we moved in to this house, there was a piece of the wall by the fireplace that had water damage. We were going to try and fix it, but when Brent started chipping away at it, tons of ants started coming out. They were just dropping from the wall onto the floor! So gross!!

Hazel is beyond precious. Sweet girl!

Rebecca said...

thats disgusting. we had an ant attack a few weeks ago, but it wasn't anything like that and was quickly squelched by a can of raid.