Nuclear Family Meltdown

isms that lead to life lessons

2010-11-08T15:17:00.000-08:00

Owen in the car today playing "let's pretend" with Hazel:

"It's like you're really rich and you always have 5 dollars in your car every day and you have all the famous cd's to listen to, and someone else only has a penny in his car and just really dumb cd's and he's really jealous of you."

_____________

Hazel said to me the other day "This is how moms and dads kiss." And proceeded to close her eyes, tilt her head and stick out her tongue.

I gave her a weird look and said "Where did you see that?"

"On tv"

"What show are you watching that shows people kissing with their tongues?"

"iCarly"

"Was it a mom and dad kissing that way?"

"yep"

"Well you aren't allowed to kiss like that until you are married....and even then you don't have to. Daddy and I don't always kiss with our tongues out. I think that's kind of gross."

"No- I'm a kid. I don't kiss like that."

long pause

"But kids can pick their nose!"

out of order

2010-11-01T00:48:00.001-07:00

I have so many pictures. I'm just having a really hard time filtering through them and deciding what to put on here! I'm sure at this point, everyone has lost interest, but I will eventually do it anyway and you will be like "Oh yeah! They went to Hawaii!"

Some of the good and bad parts of our trip:

The great- watching this old white dude take pictures of his little Asian wife frolicking in the tide. He was a proud, proud man.

The horrible- watching our plane leave the island:

about to take off

going...

going....

gone. sniff sniff.

The best- coming home to these crazy little munchkins and watching them get excited over all the touristy crap we bought them.

What I miss- seeing a rainbow literally every single day.

Disturbia

2010-10-24T23:26:00.000-07:00

Looking for a gymnast picture for a school project. These are a couple that I found that really shook me up. Which one disturbs you more? Let's vote.

1.

Just a teaser...

2010-10-18T22:15:00.000-07:00

I promise we really did go to Hawaii! I have just been insanely busy playing catch-up since we got home. I haven't exactly had the time to sit down and spend the crazy amount of time that it takes to upload all these pictures and videos!!!

Aaaaaand- I still don't have the time. But I will take a moment to share some things I learned during my visit to Waikiki:

*Lots of thick brown hair does not prevent one's scalp from getting seriously sunburned (and subsequently filling said thick brown hair with giant flakes of peeling skin....yum).

*No matter how much I hate my body right now, there are way worse ones tromping across the beach in string bikinis.

*Everything in the world should be flavored with fresh pineapple. Seriously. I put it in my coke, on my foods, in my water, in my mouth. I love it.

*Even though my kids drain my of every ounce of emotional and physical energy, I reaaaally miss them when I'm away from them.

*Convertibles are so fun...until you have to brush your hair for 30 minutes afterward. Plus I almost fell asleep twice while driving- I guess the breeze relaxes me a little too much.

*I like to hold my husband's hand.

*Even if you pay lots of money to stay in a super nice resort, you ultimately have no control over the water temperature in your shower.

*Hawaii is the ideal place to be a bum. This was the "cloaked marauder" that we passed several times throughout the week. I considered paying her to let me take her picture- she was SUPER creepy...in an awesome way- but I settled for capturing her while she napped @ the bus stop.

*When you wander around in a swimsuit all day, there is some inevitable chafing. Come on...I'm sure I'm not the only one who's experienced this.

*There's a reason I've never had room service. That reason is an additional $12 'room service charge' and an added 17% gratuity to the already outrageous price of $8 for a bowl of oatmeal. I don't know if my math is right, but I'm pretty sure that comes out to like $75 for breakfast mush.

*When you go to a vacation spot like Hawaii, there are people from all over the world and they are all on different time zones....which means you can plan to hear those heavy, metal, fire-safe doors slamming at all hours of the night..and day.

*I don't hate the beach as much as I thought I did....especially when I'm not dragging sandy, whiny kids along.

I think the Polynesian Cultural Center was the coolest part of our trip- I LOVED the show at the end of the night. It just felt like such an "authentic" Hawaiian experience. I wanted to record every moment of it, but this was definitely my favorite part. I just loved that there was this beautiful singing accented by an occasional screech. And the men are dancing with big, joyous movements while the women are smooth and controlled and beautiful. I even get chills watching this crappy recording of it! I'll try to get more pictures up soon!!!!

Lazy Hag

2010-09-29T22:57:00.000-07:00

Hazel's getting so good lately at sounding out words and figuring out how they are spelled. Apparently my name is a bit difficult, though. Before Nathan corrected her "hug and kiss" portion of this family portrait, it said "hag and kiss." Soooo- it looked a lot like my label said "Lazy hag." I see what you think of me, Hazel. Thanks.

help a brotha out...

2010-09-17T07:41:00.000-07:00

I need as many suggestions as you can give me. I need to think of something creative to put in my kids' lunches that doesn't involve sandwiches or lunchables. I already thought of soup- I'm going to start that one as soon as it's under 100 degrees outside.
Any other ideas?!?!?!

There's a hair in my bed

2010-09-15T10:48:00.000-07:00

Let me just sing my husband's praises for a minute here. I have the best husband. He is such a hard worker. He is beautiful. He is passionate and sensitive. He is the first person I want to tell everything to. Nobody can make me laugh like he does. He is patient beyond belief. He does more for me and the kids than most husbands I know. He is so above and beyond what I deserve!

That being said, sometimes I get sooo grossed out by him. Is this just me? Living with a man is so disgusting. I could list all kinds of things...don't get me started. But the worst is his curly hair. I LOVE my husband's thick, dark, curly hair. The problem is, finding little black curly hairs everywhere can be kind of disturbing. You never know if they came from his head...or other places. I pulled the sheets off our bed to wash them today, and there were HUNDREDS of little, black, curly hairs on his side...all pushed down to the foot of the bed. ?????

Am I the only one who has these issues?

Guilty Pleasures

2010-09-08T13:11:00.000-07:00

In one short month, I will be here. I can hardly believe it. Nathan and I have never been....well...anywhere. I told him I am totally counting this as our first "out of the country" adventure together. It counts, okay?

I don't even know what to think. It totally hasn't sunk in. I have looked at the pictures and listened as Nathan tells me of volcano tours, and surf lessons,but all I am thinking about is cleaning the house, shopping trips to find the right kind of clothes, cleaning out my car, shopping for groceries, organizing all the kids' activities, and GUILT!!!!! I don't mean the regular kind of mom guilt. This is worse than I have ever felt. I can't believe we are leaving our kids for an entire week. They have never been away from both of us like this. We are leaving them with amazing friends who I know will treat them as their own, but it doesn't help my guilt even the tiniest bit. I get stomach pains thinking about it. My kids are pretty old. Are they going to remember this and resent me for it forever?! They both felt very betrayed when they found out we were taking such an awesome trip without them...

WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME!?

I should be jumping for joy! No 2 am wake-up calls from Hazel. No homework. No fighting traffic @ the school. No fights over who is touching who or who did something the fastest or who is going to sit where. No yelling, no headaches, no crying, no whining....

The problem is, this also means no sweet little kisses. No listening to Hazel rattle off the entire day's events in 2 minutes. No wrapping my arms around those warm little bodies and sneaking in a good bum squeeze whenever I want. No hearing Owen's overly mature insights. I won't get to see their excited little faces for a whole week.

Will they be okay?

Will I be okay?

I literally get choked up thinking about it. I guess skype will become my best friend.

sniffle sniffle

2010-09-07T22:38:00.000-07:00

But seriously...can you believe this?! He's so giant! And he led the whole pack in the Cub Scout promise tonight. He is such a sweet boy.

PS- I was literally sewing his patches on while I drove him home from school today. And you thought TEXTING and driving was dangerous! This involved a needle.

Remember Me?

2010-09-04T13:51:00.000-07:00

Nope- not the Rob Pattinson movie. I was just wondering if anyone even remembers who I am. You know how you forget someone's birthday so then you rush out and get a belated card, maybe you even write in it and address it, but you can't find a stamp so you set it on the kitchen counter and it quickly gets covered with mail and school papers and broken toys that need to be fixed (am I the only one who has this spot on my kitchen counter?).....so the card sits on your counter for 5 weeks before you find it again and then it just feels really awkward to send it because it's been so long and you can't decide which makes you look more flaky- sending the card this late or not sending one at all? Sorry, like everyone I know.

Anyway- I'm not going to make any kind of a commitment here, because my life is kind of all over the place, but I think I might try to blog every once in a while. Maybe.

Here are some first day of school pics to try to get back into the swing of things. Does it matter that we are already through a month of school? I don't personally think so. And since this is my blog, I guess my opinion is the only one that matters. :)

3rd GRADE?! When did he become such a giant?

And here's my little Kindergartner. She is also a little too big for my liking.

@ school

This was the most sniffly picture for me. Hazel getting in line to go in the classroom and taking a minute to straighten her nametag.

It's probably a good thing I'm doing this after the fact, so you don't have to hear me whine and complain about Hazel's stress. I guess I can count myself lucky that it only took three weeks for her to adjust to school. She is now a happy little Kindergartner that comes home with happy reports, and as her teacher told me "Oh, she doesn't cry anymore! In fact, I've even had to yell at her to be quiet a couple of times." Oh! Thanks! That warms my heart. Ha.

Belated

2010-04-25T22:01:00.000-07:00

Hazel had a great Somewhere Over the Rainbow 5th birthday party!!!

Decorations and the infamous airbrushed shirt courtesy of Daddy.

Her bff from school, Violet, came to join in the fun.

Alex helped us eat cupcakes.

Really good cupcakes

Hazel fed her sweet cousin, Tyler some rainbow colored snacks.

Gracie just sat around looking precious

We pinned the cloud on the rainbow

And painted rainbow pictures

And opened presents, of course.

I just can't believe Hazel is five and starting Kindergarten this year. She is getting so much taller and has the cutest little smattering of freckles across her nose. She still crawls into bed with us almost every night and I try to convince myself that I will someday miss that. She has the best giggle in the entire world. She has a beautiful voice and uses it non-stop all day long to chatter and sing sweet little songs. She loves school, is a loyal friend, and adores her big brother. She is even more strong-willed than her brother, which i never thought possible. She is so inquisitive and loves to learn. She is just figuring out how to sounds out words and gets so excited when she can read a small word. She loves to make us proud, and does so every day. We love that little hazelnut nugget-face.

"It sounded a bit karaoke..."

2010-04-11T18:52:00.000-07:00

Watch out American Idol. Hazel got a karaoke machine for her birthday.

frustrated....

2010-04-06T15:27:00.001-07:00

Only 7 pounds so far. Let's all hope I lose at least 10 more this next week or I will be REALLY mad that I tortured myself like this.

Share and share alike

2010-03-24T12:39:00.000-07:00

Got this from a blog that got it from another blog. It totally reflects my feelings after seeing all our pictures from GA:

Wonder Woman
Yesterday we had our family pictures taken. I was a little surprised to see the out come. It seems that my inner view of myself has been skewed for quite some time. This is how I envision myself...

It turns out I actually look a little more like...

It's funny how a few innocent pictures take the wind out of your oh so confident sails.

So I have officially started a diet today. Expect me to be grumpy for the next month at least.

What's your definition of a good day?

2010-03-23T20:44:00.000-07:00

Let me just rant for a minute. I know Georgia isn't THAT far away...I mean- at least it's in the same country. The jet lag shouldn't be that bad, but I am suuuuuffering. I can't sleep. I have been wide awake at about 4:00 in the morning. I know every one of you is aware of how much worse everything seems when you are extremely tired.

So- in my fatigued haze, I have felt like everything is falling apart around me for the past few days. The main thing (while sparing you all the details) is that I feel like this crap-hole of a house is falling apart around me and I have to deal with a property-management company who doesn't care and doesn't take me seriously and does crappy work.

Also, my kids have been crazed lunatics since we got home and I just feel like I have been yelling at them non-stop for the past two days.

Well, today I didn't have to work and Hazel didn't have school, so I just decided we would take it easy. We went to visit my "Phoenix Grandma" who I haven't seen for a while. We picked some grapefruits off her tree, gathered some fallen pecans, chatted with her a little bit, and then headed to the library. I let Hazel pick as many books as she wanted and then we came home and sat in the hammock reading them.

I know this sounds so simple. I know lots of you moms probably do something like this with your kids every week, or even every day. But guess what. I don't. I have been so busy. I have been working every day, plus I have a demanding job at church. So between piano lessons and meetings and homework and keeping up with my house and all that other daily grind, I haven't really gotten the chance to have any quality time with my kids. And I have felt like such a failure. So this felt darn good. Baby steps, right?

An even bigger deal? Tonight Owen got through a practice session without us hating each other. Tonight ended without yelling and spankings. Tonight ended with stories and giggles and extra hugs and kisses and "I love you"s, and two kids feeling loved and protected enough to fall asleep without any fights. And for me, that's a good day. A really good day. Thanks to Nicole's post I am trying to focus on these ordinary moments and cherish them while they last.

And now a couple of Hazelisms:

While in GA, my mom was watching her color and looked up at my dad to say "She is definitely left-handed" (not sure why there was ever any doubt...we've known this since she was two) and Hazel responded with "Oh yeah! I'm left handed at home, too!" It was like she was saying "Yeah- this isn't a one-time thing. It's not just while I'm here visiting. I'm left-handed ALL the time."

Today Hazel was playing a game on the computer where you dress Michael Jackson up in different costumes while he sings "You Are Not Alone." As if the game itself wasn't random and awkward enough, she spent about 10 minutes dressing him and changing her mind about what he should have on, then looked at the finished product adoringly and said "Awwww- she's so pretty!"

Have you ever read about Flat Stanley? Well Hazel's school did a project where they made a little flat Stanley and sent it to another place to visit, had someone take pictures of his visit and send them back. We sent Flat Stanley to Aunt Meredith and cousin Avery. I was on the phone with Meredith today talking about it and she told me to tell Hazel that they took a picture of Flat Stanley making a snow angel. Hazel gasped in excitement, but her joyous face quickly changed to a confused one and she said in an amazed voice "Flat Stanley's REAL!?!?!" Because how could he make a snow angel if he wasn't? Right?! Man- the mind of a 4 yr old.

Speaking of angels.....I have a totally random thing to share that is sooo irreverant of me, but totally hilarious (in a sad way). I read an obituary today that started out "On March 13th, our precious Sheri became an angle....." Isn't that so sad!? What a horrible place for a typo.

Home again, home again, jiggity-jog...

2010-03-20T09:49:00.000-07:00

Our last couple of days were spent at Ghee's house just enjoying the peace and beauty....and fishing!!!

Zoe joined us for some fishing. She was SO stressed out the whole time. She thought the bobbers were balls that she needed to fetch and she was just dying for one of us to catch a fish so she could attack it.

Which of course eventually happened. And unfortunately it was a little brim that completely swalloed the hook. Since he was injured (and stuck), it took a while to get him out of sight and Zoe was getting antsy.

After putting her in the house, Nathan caught a little bass

Ghee watched from a comfortable distance

Dad got a little cocky

Hazel tried to figure out how to get that stinking string to move

and a good time was had by all.

Hazel fell in love with Ghee's doggy on this trip and wore her out daily.

I was so glad I got to see Summer a few times on this trip. We celebrated old times by eating some CB and comparing body parts that we are unhappy with.

And now we are home. It feels gooooood to be home.

Day 2.....and 3 and 4.

2010-03-17T19:31:00.000-07:00

Yep- I already got way behind. But we are BUSY, dangit. Cut me some slack. Besides, based on my last post (Day 1...), nobody cares much anyway! ;)

Saturday night, we headed over to my parents' house and went to church with them on Sunday morning. Then we spent pretty much the next two days doing this...

That's right. Read my "Rockband face" and weep. I am becoming a professional. This was the first time I had every played, and I was a.d.d.i.c.t.e.d. to it. I forced the family to play constantly so I could improve my skillllzzz. My dad had the latest Beatles version, and we completely conquered the entire game (if that tells you how much we played). So fun. Owen became quite a pro on the drums, too.

G-Mommy spoiled the kids while we were there- taking them to Toys R Us to buy early bday presents, and taking them to see Princess and the Frog.

Hazel fell in love with Aunt Paige on this trip. I'm pretty sure all it took was Paige buying her a princess coloring book and then coloring in it with her. On the way to bed that night, Hazel whispered in my ear "I love Paige...she's my best friend."

Here's a random sequence of pictures that Hazel asked me to take so she could make a bunch of different faces.

She even let Paige cut her hair. It's been getting quite scraggly because she refuses to let anyone cut it. She was juuuuust tired enough this night to not be able to protest.

My mom made my favorite meal (her chicken tetrazini) and one of her delicious cakes with homemade fudge frosting for an early celebration of my birthday. I didn't want the production of 31 candles, so I stuck a knife in the middle and called it a day. This picture just cracked me up. I don't know why my dad appears to be reprimanding me, or why both of my children look demonic, OR why Paige and I are making such tardo faces.

She even let me lick the fudge pan (a first).

Then on Tuesday, we jumped in the car with Sarah and Jen and drove 3 1/2 hours to Thomasville where Nathan's dad and grandma live. We drove straight to Nana's house and spent a lovely afternoon on her porch. The weather was beautiful, and her yard was just the epitome of Spring in the South. Moss hanging from the oaks, pear and plum trees in bloom, bees buzzing around our heads. We (I) just couldn't pass up the picture opportunities.

Across from Nana's house, there is a little farm with a mule, a horse, and a donkey. We took over some apples to coax them in our general direction.

This one was the mule....I think it was the biggest mule in the world. Huge. He was in love with Owen.

From Nana's house, we drove over to Nathan's aunt's house. Teresa has a beautiful home- I wish I had taken pictures (that's NOT it in the background). But we spent most of our time outside in the beautiful weather. They had a trampoline that the kids couldn't tear themselves away from.

We even had a family jumping session. This was my favorite picture. Hazel did lots of face plants, and I was happy to capture one in progress.

Then we sat on Teresa's beautiful porch and reminisced until dinner. Here are the kids with Nana.

At some point, Sarah made a comment to insinuate that she could run faster than Nathan. When he scoffed at the idea, she started asking people who they would "put money on" in a race. Of course I picked Nathan. It was quite an event- we all went out ot the yard to record and time and watch this race. As you will see, Nathan easily won. He even slows down at one point to let her catch up and still wins.

Excuse Hazel's screaming. She somehow thought she was a part of this race and was a little discouraged by how quickly her components left her in their dust.

We drove home from Thomasville at 8:30 and got back to Ghee's house at about midnight. Went to bed at 1:30 and spent the entire next day (day 5) laying in bed and lounging around the house while it rained and rained and rained. That evening we spent some time at my friend Summer's house playing with her kids and then got a delicious potato pizza from Partner's Pizza. MAN I miss that pizza.....I think I will go have some for breakfast right now.

Day 1

2010-03-13T13:47:00.000-08:00

It's Spring Break again and we are back in Georgia. We didn't fly standby this time, so the trip here was much more enjoyable. I will try to document our trip as we go so nobody (including me) will be overwhelmed with a huge post.

Some of the kids' quotes thus far:

-I was showing Owen where to throw away his paper towel in the airplane bathroom and he peered down into the little trash receptacle and asked "Does that make it go overboard?"

-About 2 hours into the flight, when his nerves had settled a bit, Owen said "I think this is going to be a lucky day for flying. You know, not like one of those unlucky ones where people, like, crash into the ocean or something."

-As we started to land, Hazel said "I'm so excited! We're about to be in Georgia!!!" and then looked out the window and saw the runway. She turned to Nathan and said in disgust. "Dad! This is the airport! We've been here already!"

-At Ghee's house, Owen found a bunch of Mardi Gras coins and said "Wow, Mom! Look at all these medals! Ghee must be really good at something."

We stayed the first night with Ghee. I love her house. I posted about it last time we visited, so I will spare you details, but it is just such a perfect grandma house on a little pond in the woods. And she had everything so clean and warm and welcoming. She even had her friend, Richard, MAKE a coffe table just for the kids. He carved some legs for this huge table and Ghee had it piled up with tons of Polly Pockets, a car and garage for Owen's miniature cars, and paper and markers. It was all on their level right when they walked in and they have been totally entertained since then!

It was tough to tear them away and convince them to go to bed. But Ghee's beds are sooo comfy they fell right asleep when their heads hit the pillow. They went straight to the table in the morning, giving us a couple of hours to "sleep in" before dragging ourselves from bed. We had just settled in for a day of being lazy when Richard invited us to come over to his house and ride four wheelers! YES! Nothing like some redneck activity our first day in GA. I don't think much else could have gotten me out of my pajamas today. I was thrilled. I haven't been on a four wheeler for......well- since I was 17.

This is Richard- he was so lovely and friendly and helped us have an awesome day.

I even convinced Hazel to get on the four wheeler with me. She liked it for a while, but was getting hit in the face with rain the whole time and it was also pretty chilly, so her joy was short lived.
Owen, however just had to get one little taste of power and freedom and he was unstoppable.

Then he had his first wreck. I was behind him, so to me it looked like the thing flipped over on top of Owen. Needless to say, I pretty much threw up in my mouth as I was running across the field to rescue him. When I reached him, he was on the ground giggling, so I quickly switched my attention to the four wheeler. Everyone/thing was okay and he hopped back on and kept riding. And fyi- he took off his helmet for this picture, but was absolutely wearing one while riding.

After that adventure, we hopped on the swing in the front yard. This swing was hung about 30 feet up a tree, so it was more of a gliding motion than swinging. The kids loved it. Owen took a turn, Hazel took a turn,

Even Daddy did it!

So of course I had to give it a try. I hoisted my overweight body into the swing (which is about 3 feet off the ground) and plopped my butt down, only to lean all the way back and fall out of the air, slamming the back of my head into the ground. Richard chuckled and said "You are officially the first person to ever do that." I really wish someone had taken a video, because I'm sure it looked hilarious, but it hurt like a mother. I couldn't get up for a while. My eyes wouldn't focus and my ears were ringing. I have never hit my head that hard. A few minutes later, my tongue got numb and tingly and I felt light-headed. Needless to say, I refused to take a nap because I'm a little worried, but I think I will survive. :)

Stay tuned for more action-packed fun.

It's all I got right now...

2010-02-08T20:10:00.000-08:00

I'm sure many of you have experienced this.... at least any of you who have had your children attending any kind of Christian school.

Hazel goes to a preschool in a little baptist church in our neighborhood. Once a week, they have Bible time with Pastor Bob to hear Bible stories and learn little songs. I remember the first "song" she learned when she started there. She came home one day and started chanting....yelling, really:

"Oh NO, Never let GO! Through the storm and through the rain!"

That was the only line she "knew" (incorrectly) for a whole week. And she screamed it out constantly. It was literally the most annoying thing I had ever heard. It took me a while to figure out that this was actually something they had purposely taught our children.

Anyway- since then she has actually learned some pretty cute songs, but inevitably she comes home singing something a little interesting right after learning a new song. Trying to interpret her versions of these songs never ceases to entertain us. Here's one for you to figure out:

"Jump, jump, jump out of the dark, dark, dark. Jump on Jesus and give Him your heart."

I mean, I can kind of understand where they were going with this, but I'm not sure a sneak attack it the best method for giving your heart to Jesus.

Then there is this other song she sings that says lots of totally understandable and precious things about Jesus, and then there's this one random line that says (at least in Hazel's mind):

"Raise your hand for lovers passing by"

Makes no sense whatsoever, but it sure is cute in her high-pitched nasally voice.

isms

2010-02-01T20:27:00.001-08:00

"Hazel...how did your face get so cute?"

"Cause I smile so much all the time"

__________________

I found some weird, pink, thick, dirty, rubbery stuff on Hazel's dresser and asked her "What IS this?" (in disgust)
"It's some stuff from the rug"
"What rug?"
"The rug on the playground." (I guess some kind of foam pad on their playground at school)
"Why is it on your dresser?"
"Cause I love it- it's my favorite thing in the world!"
(thoughtful pause)
"Just kidding. It's not my favorite thing in the world...ice cream is."

Fresh, new snow for a new year.

2010-01-02T11:40:00.000-08:00

I just can't say it enough. I love Flagstaff. When our kids are out of school, I totally want to move there. But for now, I'm just glad this beauty is so close to home.

We took a little overnight trip for New Year's Eve with a couple of Nathan's work buddies and their wives. Nathan got to see the pinecone drop at midnight for the second year, and I got to lay in a bed in a hotel room next to my two sleeping babies. I watched A Lot Like Love and cuddled up with Hazel and fell asleep at 10:30. It was nice.....until Hazel started kicking me. Even with pillows in between us, she managed to kick me about 40 times throughout the night, and sat up and started talking about 5 times.

We started the New year with breakfast at Ihop and then immediately went back to the hotel room for an attempted nap. After that failure, we packed up the car and headed out to the snow park.

To pass the time while we packed the car, Owen threw snowballs at this shed while Hazel slipped around on the icy parking lot.

When we finally got to the snow park, it was CLOSED! The parking lot was so full that everyone was stuck in the park and nobody else could get in. We had no choice but to just drive down the street and find somewhere else to play. So much for all the sleds we have bought over the years. I guess we will just have to go back in another month and use them then! Even without the huge hills to sled down, we managed to create a little bit of fun.

Hazel made her own little miniature snowman

Owen literally rolled around in the snow until he was soaked through all his layers

I'm not positive how deep the snow actually was, but Hazel sank down to her waist in a couple of spots.

Look at all that untouched snow. It makes my heart happy.

Hazel and I found a little igloo that someone had made JUST FOR HER! Or at least it seemed that way...

I built a beautiful little snowwoman....put so much love and tenderness into her formation. But apparently all Juan saw was a picture op and a chance for destruction. You can imagine what she looked like after this picture.

We sat down to pose for a family picture, and it started to snow! Okay...not really. I thought if I threw some of the powder into the air, we might be able to fake you out. But it just turned out looking like I threw a bunch of snow in the air.

And then I couldn't stop.

But Nathan definitely got me back by filling the sled and then throwing it at me.

We did manage to find one tiny little hill. Once the grown-up boys had smoothed it out for us a bit, we were able to catch a tiny bit of speed. Especially with a good, strong push.

Despite its disappointments (no hills, cold feet, lack of sleep, etc.), I think it was worth it to see the beautiful snow and take out our aggresions by throwing it at each other.

And my favorite kid quotes from this trip (notice how they both involve hate):

Owen: "My feet are freezing cold! I hate frostbites!"

Hazel: "I hate the sun. It's too shady."

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

Disappointment eve

2009-12-26T11:34:00.000-08:00

It's been a tradition in our family that on Christmas Eve, the children open one gift. For the past few years, we have made this gift a new set of pajamas (sometimes Christmas pjs, sometimes not). Owen caught on a couple of years ago and knew what to expect, but Hazel was NOT pleased. I even explained to her beforehand that she would not be opening a toy, but instead it would be something to wear. I guess she thought I was kidding.

She has become quite ungrateful lately....and rude...and sassy. It really isn't funny (most of the time), but I have to say that I laughed out loud at her reaction to the pajamas. I also reprimanded her later and gave her the "be grateful" lecture, but I just had to share. I also think it's especially cute that Owen tried to make her feel better about the whole thing.

After this video, I tried to convince her to put the pajamas on for a picture in front of the tree, but she ran off to her room with another mean grunt. Owen, however, was perfectly cooperative and posed for me...

And then he had the genius idea that he would just hold Hazel's pjs up beside him and maybe it would look like she had posed for the picture.

Then Hazel came out happy as can be in LAST YEAR'S pajamas and posed for a picture. I just took what I could get and thanked them both.

But I guess my guilt trip about her hurting my feelings when I picked those pajamas out for her kinda worked. She finally conceded and I happily claimed victory!!!!

Merry Christmas...and HAPPY BIRTHDAY G-MOMMY!!!!

2009-12-24T16:13:00.000-08:00

Conversations

2009-12-15T21:08:00.000-08:00

Two of mine and Nathan's conversations tonight (the only ones appropriate for sharing):

(1) Nathan: Do you want a piece of cake?
Me: YES, dangit. I told you twice already! Once out loud and once in my head.

(2) Nathan: (in response to something rude I did) You're such a ho.
Me: What the heck? You don't call your wife a ho!!!
Nathan: If I can't call my wife a ho, who can I?
Me: How about HOS?!?!?!?!

This second conversation was so wrong, I can't even believe I am putting it on here. But alas, this is the true us. And we still make each other laugh.

In the future...

2009-11-12T14:27:00.000-08:00

Hazel loves the idea of Lunchables. She begs for them every time we go to the grocery store, then begs to eat them every day. The thing is, she doesn't actually like them. Every once in a while she will be starving and, therefore, manage to eat the whole thing. But 9 times out of 10, she eats the first bite of whatever meat is included in that day's Lunchable and decides that the meat is "disgusting." This inevitably leads to her refusal to take another bite of anything in that little plastic, compartmentalized tray of processed foods.

We are finally over giving her chance after chance to prove to us that she can be a big girl and eat the whole thing. It's just such a waste of money. So Nathan came home today right as I was getting frustrated with Hazel for wasting yet another valuable Lunchable. I was getting a little worked up, so he jumped in and took over the conversation, using his usual sarcastic drama to make fun of my genuine drama.

Nathan: "Hazel, that’s it. You are never getting lunchables again."
Hazel: "That’s fine. I hate them. The meat is disgusting."
Nathan: "You’re not getting any more lunchables and you’re not going to college."
Hazel: "What’s cobbleage?"
Nathan: "Cobbleage is where you are going to be begging me to go when you are 18."
Hazel: "I can go to cobbleage if I want to!"
Nathan: "You can? Well you better work hard then, cause you’re going to have to do it on your own."
Hazel: "But I can’t drive!"
Nathan: "You’ll be able to when you’re that old. But I’m not going to buy you a car either."
Hazel: "Fine. I’ll just steal your car."
Nathan: "Well, you are your mother’s child, so that wouldn’t surprise me."

Clarification

2009-11-11T16:19:00.000-08:00

I am laughing SOOO hard that you all think Owen's team is actually called "The Misfits." It's totally my fault for not clarifying- that is just what I have dubbed them. The actual team name is The Cardinals. :) So- a little less sad than you all originally thought. Sorry to disappoint.

Soccer Misfits

2009-11-10T21:11:00.000-08:00

Just a few pics of Owen's soccer team this year, now that Saturday is his last game. We aren't participating in this league next year. I have finally figured out that all the men who want their kids to be awesome soccer players teach them from birth, then volunteer to be a coach for this league, then pick all their friends' kids to be on their team. This results in Owen (who's mom and dad don't know any of the futbol wonders) ending up on the loser team. Once again, his team has lost every single game. They are just like this little leftover group of misfits. Last year he didn't mind, but this year I think it has really had an effect on him. He says things like, "Not this team again!" and "We suck!" and "I definitely need to practice soccer more." Poor kid. It's definitely not doing his self-esteem any favors.

This is our friend/neighbor that joined his team last minute, Anthony

Posing for team photos

The misfits

The huddle

"Good game, good game."

Just FYI- this last picture is the perfect example of what I'm talking about. I think they scored about 25 goals to our zero. And the coach's son was like a little miniature Beckham- I mean this kid was performing miracles. I started cheering for him halfway through the game, the little brat. And, of course, Owen's team will play this team again on Saturday for their last game. No better way to end the season than with a huge arse-kicking, right?

And the magic number is....

2009-11-08T12:07:00.000-08:00

FOUR!!!

Four years old, fourth visit to the emergency room, and four stitches.

That's right- our precious little clutzo is at it again. Actually, I guess I can't blame it all on her clumsiness. The chances of injury were slightly increased while playing a game of tickle tag in a dining room with tile floors. Hazel slipped while reaching for a leg to tickle and split her eyelid open on the edge of the dining room chair. To make matters worse, I was 30 minutes away at a baby shower. My friend, Tupou, was babysitting and called me in a panic. I could hear Hazel screaming in the background so I was like "She sounds conscious. No worries!" but I don't think that calmed him at all.

I came home and checked out the wound and decided it needed medical attention. It was about 4:30 on a Saturday and every urgent care place was closed. Isn't that incredible?!?! I was pretty upset. A trip to the emergency room means a $100 copay. At this point, I started doubting the severity of the injury. I called a friend to see if her husband (a surgical resident) could look at it and tell me if I needed to spend the next four to five hours sitting in the virus-infested emergency room, but he wasn't around. At this point, I am starting to get myself worked up, thinking "If I spend the time and money for an emergency room visit, this sucker better need some stitches." I know- mom of the year, right?

Anyway, long story short, it definitely needed stitches. Tupou and Shannon ended up driving us to the ER, sitting in the waiting room with Owen for FOUR HOURS and buying the kids McDonald's. I tried reeeeaaaaaally hard to convince Tupou that I didn't blame him, but I found out later that Hazel had said to him (while sobbing) "I don't want you to babysit me again." Poor guy! I'm sure she broke his heart....and apparently made him feel so guilty that he felt the need to spend the rest of the night trying to make up for it.

Here's her wound. Once again, I only had my cell phone and some glamorous flourescent lighting, so it will be hard to tell much from these pictures.

This is the picture that she colored for Tupou. She literally spent about an hour on it, trying to stay in the lines and make it perfect. I think she started to think about what she had said to him, and she felt bad. She ADORES this guy, so she wanted to let him know that she had been a little too hasty in saying that he was no longer allowed to babysit her.

After coloring the picture, she told me to write him a note on the back and began to ramble. She actually said A LOT more than this, but I wrote down the points that I thought were important. It was SO cute. She obviously wanted to "take back" what she said and made me read this back to her after I wrote it so she could approve my transcribing skills. Then she said "Now draw a heart so he knows I love him."

Here's the note:

"I love you. I don't want to play hide-n-go-seek again because I got hurt today. I really want you to come over to babysit me one more time, but I want Owen to not get hurt like me, cause I don't want to go to the hospital with him and have to wait. I want Owen to feel happy. I want to play duck-duck-goose instead. Love, Hazel"

Here she is waiting for the doctor- she has an anesthetic swab taped to her wound.

And here are her four stitches. I can't believe how good and brave she was. She definitely cried, but let's be honest. Who WOULDN'T cry while watching a fishook come at their eye over and over? I had a hard time watching the actual process. It's weird how I can handle blood and guts-I'm pretty sure I could even stick my whole hand into a gaping wound to stop the bleeding if I had to- as long as it's not my child. All it takes is a tiny little cut like this on one of my babies to make my stomach turn.

But, all is well, and she is pretty proud of her strings in her eye, although she is constantly worried that they are coming out. She's such a precious little clutz, isn't she?

Trick or Treat, Smell my feet....

2009-10-30T22:04:00.001-07:00

Speaking of feet, I have to share a Hazelism. I was putting her to bed the other night and she said "Let me smell your feet."
I don't think I have ever blogged about that girl's obsession with smelling EVERYTHING! She loves when things smell good, but I kind of think she is even more satisfied sniffing something stinky (that was a fantastic alliteration, if I do say so myself).

So, anyway...
"Let me smell your feet."
"NO, Hazel! That's gross!"
(whiny voice) "Yeeeeesssss!"
(exasperated sigh) "Here. Smell my cheek instead."
(angry) "NO! That smells good! I want to smell your stinky feet!"
followed by a screaming tantrum when I wouldn't comply.

WHAT A WEIRDO, RIGHT?!

Alright- back to my original reason for posting.

Tuesday night, Owen had his first choir concert at school.

( disclaimer: My camera takes great pictures in most situations, but apparently flourescent cafeteria lighting is not our friend. If I use the flash, everything goes black...if I don't, it's just one big blur. So frustrating. )

Owen was SO stinking precious. He is so much like me on a stage. He is SUCH a performer every other day of the week, but put him on a stage and he kinda freezes. All the kids around him were doing exaggerated hand motions, but Owen kept his hands down by his side and just kind of halfway did the motions. He kept looking around at the kids next to him and giggling. He told us later that he was embarassed the whole time.

He even had a little speaking part. He says "We are learning to read rythms in music class. This rhyme shows we know about quarter notes and eighth notes. We call them ta and tee-tee."

Look (in the video) at how many kids are in the 2nd grade at his school. It's crazy big. I'm so in love with his school, but I'm starting to stress about how big it's getting. It's only K-4 and there are over 900 students!

Tonight we had our pre-Halloween events. First, we went to Owen's school carnival (rip-off) and then we went to the church trunk-or-treat.

Cutest kitty EVER (even though you can't really see her ears or her tail in these pics)

Owen was some character called "Thing" He always wants to get these superhero-type costumes and then won't even wear the mask.

My precious friend Shannon. I love her.

Shannon and Tupou's trunk

Hazel and Alex

It's kind of been a long exhausting day, and I have to get up and go to a soccer game in the morning. Soooo....why am I blogging at midnight?

Mraz Mania

2009-10-22T10:59:00.000-07:00

I can't believe it has taken me so long to post about my Jason experience. I have no idea why, but blogger has not been letting me upload videos lately. I let one sit and "process" for TWO DAYS and it never uploaded. I'm so sad!!! I wish you could see why I love Jason Mraz so much. I'm so thankful that Paige introduced us years ago. He is just so talented. I love his voice (which sounds amazing live!), his lyrics seriously move me, he has such a sense of humor with his music, and he is such a happy, funny, engaging performer. I love him.

I convinced two friends to come watch me swoon over Jason Mraz when he came to Tempe. I didn't think I could be more in love with him, but the way he sways his hips and caresses his guitar....holy cow. Sexy.

Anyway- it was a three day music festival with a LOT of performers. Friday night was apparently for the old folks...the line-up was as follows:

Colbie Caillat
Gavin Rossdale
THE B-52s!!! (WHAT THE CRAP!?!)
Jason Mraz
Rob Thomas

So, yeah....we were obviously only there for Jason (although it was a fun flashback to hear Gavin performing some old school Bush). We arrived in the middle of Gavin Rossdale's performance, ate some food, found a spot to set up camp, and decided to sit and relax (and conserve our energy) throughout the very trippy, very annoying B-52s performance. Here's what I stared at the whole time they were on stage:

Why was she even standing up? She was like 15! I know she wasn't into the B-52s! Which brings me to another question...why was she even there?!?

We didn't think there was any reason for us to bring our I.D.s since we don't drink alcohol, but when we arrived we realized that they had completely split the crowd. One whole side was alcoholic and the other side was teenagers, old conservatives, and us. Our crowd was booooring. Although there were a couple of bedazzled and sequined weirdos jammin to Love Shack.

Then, of course, as we were trying to move up for Jason's set, we somehow got stuck behind the tallest person there (who also happened to have a stinky gas issue).

I finally crowded him enough that he got the message and moved over. My nose was thankful.

Me, Melissa, and Shannon

Jason on the jumbotron:

Future Models?

2009-10-08T06:19:00.000-07:00

A friedn of mine convinced me to enter my kids in the GAP casting call (he really loves Owen and Hazel and thinks way too highly of them....lol). I know there are so many beautiful kids in there, and they are usually ethnic....BUT....I think my kids are cute and I guess you never know what they are looking for. :) If you want to vote for either of them, here are the links. Spread the word. We could win a trip! (Wow- I hate myself for this post).

http://family.go.com/gapcastingcall/entries/lingseyd/179765131/ Hazel

http://family.go.com/gapcastingcall/entries/lingseyd/239765527/ Owen

2009-10-04T20:35:00.001-07:00

Okay- I guess I will just have to continue to filter myself. I can't stand the fact that going private means that none of you read my blog! Forget it.

2009-10-01T22:14:00.000-07:00

I don't really know why I am so behind on my posting. I have just been feeling very uncreative and unfunny lately. But I guess I need to satisfy the select few who might care about our boring day to day happenings.

A couple of weeks ago, we took the kids out of school, threw some crap in the car and drove up to Oak Creek Canyon to have a little family camping trip. We all needed to get away. I wish we had gotten even further away. I mean, I'm not complaining. It was beautiful and relaxing, but I was a little sad that we could still hear street traffic from our campsite. The place we used to camp in GA was soooo peaceful.....

Anyway- here are a million pictures to tell our story:

This drive could NEVER get old. It's stunning.

What else do you need to survive a road trip besides a few good movies, some pillows...

and a belt with which to strap a flashlight to your head? I don't know. I just don't know.

Here's our beautiful campsite- for some reason nobody chose to camp anywhere near us. Maybe is was the kids darting around screaming at the top of their lungs.

I'm not sure what she was doing here, but this face makes me happy.

Yep- that's pretty much every picture of Owen these days.

Those of you who know me will get just how terrifying this is- I had to do my business in the bathroom and just as I was relieving myself, I looked up and saw the mother of all black widows. Holy crap...literally. I can't even explain how huge this thing was. I also can't explain how stressful it is to poo into a giant abyss while choking back sobs of fear. Not fun, my friends.

The campgrounds were so beautiful and Owen and Hazel were determined to explore every inch.

while eating popcorn balls

which resulted in a few stops to clean popcorn from their teeth....with their shirts?

Owen did everything little boys should do while camping. He peed on several trees (I chose not to photograph that), played with fire, and broke some sticks over his knee...and probably ate a bunch of dirt.

That night we made silver turtles (foil dinners- hamburger patties with potatoes and onions)

Hazel loved everything- including the onions...

Owen wasn't as enthusiastic

That night we, of course, roasted marshmallows. I think I had about 6 smores. My belly hurt. Isn't Hazel such a good multi-tasker eating her smore while prepping two others? Mama's proud.

Am I drunk in this picture? Or maybe just a lack of make-up makes me appear so. And do I always need to get Hazel in a choke hold to get her to pose for a photo?

Hazel started to get cold and whiny and scared of all the skunks that were literally surrounding us. Owen offered her a little warmth and comfort while being the brave big brother.

The next morning, skunks were forgotten as we started the day with powdered doughnuts.

Then we packed up camp and headed over to Slide Rock. We had to stop to pose on this gorgeous tractor. It was strange to see how natural Nathan looked on a tractor.

Here it is. Beauty, right? I know. A couple of people were actually IN the frigid water. See that little head poking out of the water?

Owen joined the select few and waded into the water. He then proceeded to slip (hence the name slide rock) and fall into the water in the last of his clean clothes.
Hazel laughed and pointed and watched Owen flounder from the comfort of this warm rock.

And here's a little clip to make you feel like you were a part of our joyous one-nighter.

FINALLY going private...

2009-09-15T08:38:00.000-07:00

If you would like to continue reading my blog, please either leave me your name and email address in a comment or send it to me at:

lingseyd@gmail.com

And I'm still working on that stinking video. I have NO idea why it didn't post, and now I can't get it to upload. FURY!!!!

Do you have a few minutes for an "inventure" ???

2009-09-12T21:55:00.000-07:00

I recently picked up the camera to take a picture and realized that Owen had apparently figured out the video function. There were around 15 new videos recorded on the camera (along with lots of new pointless photos). Maybe it's just because I'm his mother, but this made me laugh until I had tears streaming down my face. There's more to come, but here's the pilot. I think this kid might have quite a lucrative career ahead of him.

PS- add your email to a comment if you want to continute reading my blog. I have finally decided to go private. It's the only solution I can think of to all these stalkers that read my blog and then make assumptions about me based on the things I write. :) And yes...I'm talking about you.

Owen's latest accomplishments...i

2009-09-03T22:09:00.000-07:00

He's my first child, so I have no idea if this is late or not, but Owen finally learned how to ride his bike. It kind of took us not ever mentioning it and pretending not to care. It also helped that the boys across the street who are 3 years younger than him already knew how. Positive peer pressure. Sorry it's so dark- it was late.

And here he is playing one of his latest piano pieces. Once again, crappy recording....but you get the idea. I just can't get over how grown-up he seems lately.

Owen Dynamite

2009-08-29T21:10:00.000-07:00

Somehow Owen managed to slip out the door the other morning with flip-flops on. He is not allowed to wear flip-flops to school. I took him to school. This means he was in the car with me and I never noticed.

Anyway- so he gets off the bus that afternoon with a little plastic bag containing his flip-flops and these hideous contraptions on his feet:

Are you freaking kidding me?! They're practically moon boots! I can't believe they didn't call me. I would have come running from ANYWHERE to save him from the humiliation. This is straight up inhumane. I think I am going to sue.

Hooray for Hazel

2009-08-24T22:33:00.000-07:00

Today was Hazel's first day of Preschool. She thought she wanted to be a big girl and go to school...until I actually enrolled her. Then she had second (and third and fourth) thoughts. I guess even though she yells at me all day, she actually enjoys being around me and didn't want to suffer through the seperation. :)

She cried all morning (for a little over an hour) as we got ready for school and kept saying "I'm not going to school!" For the first 30 minutes, I was gentle and encouraging and sympathetic. Then I just got fed up. I wanted to scream "SUCK IT UP!" I knew she was going to love it, and I hate that she has to throw such a huge fit before even trying something. Sigh.

Anyway- she was precious when I dropped her off. She held my hand sooo tight and kept wanting to whisper things in my ear as we got acquainted with the classroom and the teachers. Things like "Tell her (ask her) when we are going to play with the blocks" or "Tell her when we are going to cut with scissors."

When I left, she burst into tears, but I quickly kissed all over her face, gave her a couple of big squeezes and cheerfully said bye. She cried "WAIT! One more kiss and hug!" I complied and she took her teacher's hand and entered the classroom. Once I got all my errands done for the day (it's amazing how fast it goes without kids!), it took all my self-control to not drive back up there and pick her up early...or at least just sneak a peek into her classroom.

I wish I had been as smart as my friend Nicole and captured the look on her face when I picked her up. She has never been so excited to see me! They were sitting in a circle singing songs and she yelled out "MOMMY!!!" but didn't move from her spot until her teacher told her she could. She was just so precious. Her teacher even wrote me a note giving me a play by play of how Hazel did on her first day. I think it's in the car and I'm too lazy to go get it, but she said that Hazel was a fantastic, precious little girl and got really involved in all their activites and made friends easily. She also told me that Hazel ate all her lunch and took a good nap. I wish I could have watched every moment!

Here she is looking at all the other kids on the playground...not quite ready to join in.

Her cubby. Even when she is feeling a little apprehensive, she doesn't hesitate to smile for the camera.

She looks way too big.

Tonight during Family Home Evening, we all told what our favorite part of our day was, and Hazel said "My favorite part was school." Awesome! Cause you're going back in two days. :)

Precioso

2009-08-19T14:58:00.000-07:00

I think I'm due a positive post about the chillins. Besides...I am having a sentimental moment after watching Owen practice piano. He is starting to get that sway in his body when he really gets into a song. So precious.

Here he is on the first day of second grade. Isn't he pimpin'? He was SO excited to wear his new shoes. He got to pick his shoes this year, and I was shocked by how much he cared! He knew brand names and everything. I was picking out some typical adidas for his tennis shoes when he spotted SKETCHERS! He literally yelled with excitement "I've always wanted sketchers!" I was like "Uhhhh...really?" Weird. He had his heart set on these black and red ones that were pretty...um...hood. You know- hood. Ghetto. SO- luckily I was able to convince him to get a pretty basic brown pair by telling him they would go with more outfits and he would, therefore, be allowed to wear them more. Then he also picked a pair on Converse because he wanted to be like his daddy. Anyway- my point is that I can't believe he is old enough to start caring about these things. He is also very particular about how his hair looks.

When we pulled up to the school and became a part of the sheer and utter chaos that is the first day, he started to get a little nervous. He was checking out the playground to see if he recognized anyone right off the bat. I don't think he had any luck, but Hazel definitely recognized someone familiar right away and yelled "HEY! There's Owen! In the brown shirt!" Owen and I just looked at each other like "WHAT?!" and then laughed hysterically.

He stopped for an extremely long drink from the fountain right outside his classroom. I don't know if he was actually hot and thirsty or if he was just trying to prolong the inevitable.

Of course, his teacher was the one and only teacher on campus who had complete control of the situation and already had every kid sitting at their desks working on an assignment! That didn't help our nerves at all to walk into a silent, full classroom and feel like an incredible disturbance. By the time I left, he looked like he was about to burst into tears. It was SO hard to leave. I took one last shot of him sitting at his desk in mid-gesture. He was sighing and putting his hand up to his head in exasperation because he had no idea what he was supposed to be doing. It makes me sad all over again to think about it.

He, of course, did fine and is enjoying his class and said he likes his teacher "a ton!"

Hazel got a VERY exciting package from G-Mommy and Avery. Sweet cousin Avery decided to pick a couple of her dress-ups to give to Hazel, and G-Mommy also bought her a new one. Poor Hazel with her one princess dress. It was always hard for her to play with a friend and have to share that dress. Well..no longer, my friends! She now has FOUR princess dresses from which to choose. She was especially thrilled with the authentic Cinderella dress and has worn it every day since it's arrival.

She asked me to take a picture of her in this pose. She is trying to hold one leg up...hence the hand on the refrigerator to steady herself and the tongue sticking out.

And then, when our friend Gracie came to play, we were finally able to have two princesses in the house! It was a time to celebrate.

And here are a few cute things she has done this past week. When I was cleaning house, she stacked the couch pillows up to stand on so she could help me wash windows.

When our grocery ads came, she went through them and circled the things she thought we needed and then tried to copy the words onto the grocery list. If it was an especially daunting word...like cantoloupe...she would draw what it looked like (a circle). There are now some odd symbols and shapes on my grocery list.

I put her in time out the other day. This is always a major struggle. She HATES being told to stay in one chair. Sometimes time out ends up being 30 minutes of us just trying to get her to "STAY IN THAT CHAIR!" When I came back to check on her, she had gotten a pillow and blanket from her bed and was sound asleep. But at least she was in the chair! Victory!

Napping Naked Nightmares

2009-08-16T19:38:00.000-07:00

There I am in the shower, minding my own business, when into the tub falls one of these:

and one of these:

They are apparently fighting each other....I think the snake was chasing the gecko. So there they are, slithering and flailing and flopping around while I am screaming frantically and pressing myself up against the shower wall. Fighting against the fact that I am soaking wet and, therefore, quite slippery, I try my best to claw the slick tiles and climb up the side of the wall. After practically breaking each finger and toe on my body, I finally see my chance for escape and leap out of the tub, taking the shower curtain with me. I run immediately into the kitchen where Nathan is sitting calmly enjoying a sandwich. I scream at him through my uncontrollable sobbing, "NATHAN! Didn't you hear me screaming for help? Why didn't you save me??!?!" to which he replied with a roll of his eyes, "I'm sure it wasn't that big of a deal."

I woke up feeling very betrayed....and with an inexplicable pain in my back. Must have been all that jumping around in the shower. Maybe I shouldn't take any more 3 hour Sunday naps.

You are my witnesses!!!

2009-08-11T08:08:00.000-07:00

I am setting a goal today. I WILL accomplish this goal. I am sick and tired of talking about how unhappy I am with my body, so I've decided to change it.

Today is August 11th. By November 11th I will have lost at least 12 pounds.

I am cutting out sweets for the next month to kick start this plan.

Wish me luck and send any motivation my way that you can!

I love to see the temple...

2009-08-07T21:29:00.000-07:00

I had a few errands to run in Mesa today, so I decided to take the kids to the temple. I can't believe we have been here three years and I have never taken them! I'm not really sure what they thought of it, but they fought me when it was time to leave, so I'm guessing that's a pretty good sign that they enjoyed themselves. Owen asked a lot of questions and especially liked seeing the Book of Mormon in so many different languages.

Hazel saw this statue of Jesus and stopped dead in her tracks to stare at it. She was probably thinking..."Whoa! I had no idea Jesus was the same height as me!"

Then she turned to me and said "Can I hold his hand?"

When we rounded the corner and saw THIS statue...

I think she probably thought "That's more like it." She turned to me and said "Mommy....why does he have holes in his hands and feet?" I told her that was where the nails were when he was hung on the cross. She asked "Why did the people hate him and put him on the cross?" and I explained that they didn't like what he was teaching. She said "But that's mean" in an appalled voice. She is so precious. I'm glad to know she is listening in church.

Owen spent his time watching every single LDS commercial ever made (man! those things ALWAYS make me cry), and looking at the diorama of Jerusalem. It had buttons you could push to locate certain places on the diorama and hear about them. He was captivated.

And here are some pics I forced them to take in an alley behind the music store. ha.

Just a fun day with our cousin...

2009-08-06T21:48:00.000-07:00

First off....how stinking precious is my nephew?

And how beautiful is my sister?!?

Gettin crazy on the splashpad

Got a little too crazy and Owen got a hard head smashed into his cheekbone. Eek.

Tyler trying to avoid having his picture taken

Mission Beach

2009-08-02T21:23:00.000-07:00

Get ready for a barrage of photos that are probably only interesting to me.

On Wednesday night, we threw a bunch of crap (and the kids) into the car and drove to San Diego for a weekend beach trip. Here are the highlights of our trip via picture story...

Sooo....it just struck me that I have no pictures of our first morning where we spent three hours in the hotel dealing with a Hazelum (far worse than a normal tantrum). Oh well...if only I could record these things so you guys would understand the drama that is Hazel. I love that girl. Suffice it to say that she did not enjoy her first taste of bar soap. :)

Once we made it out of our hotel room (around 11:30), we went straight to the beach. Now let me digress a bit from my story to let everyone out there know that my dear husband is in love with the beach. It turns him into a little boy. Unlike me, it doesn't bother him to have seaweed wrap around his ankles and drag him into the eye-burning, salty water as wave after wave crashes against his face and pushes more stinging water up his nose. He doesn't mind clawing his way to safety only to have sand fill his every nook and cranny and rub him raw while he is attempting to relax and unwind.

Well...apparently the kids have acquired my slight aversion to the beach. Where do I start?

Hazel. Well....Hazel's drama carried over onto the sand. She was only a little apprehensive at first and asked Owen to hold her hand on the way to the water.

If you have read my stories about swim lessons, you can guess what happened when the water didn't even sit still for her, but instead came rushing noisily in her direction. She was not exactly thrilled.

Apparently life is going to supply me with ample opportunity to capture this lovely look.

But we still cruelly forced her to stand on the edge a couple of times just to torture everyone around us (this picture is to make up for the cruel one that I will post of Nathan momentarily).And somehow she still managed to conjure up a smile for the camera.

So I spent the majority of my time hanging out at our little campsite. Nathan was genius enough to figure out how to keep this tent from flying away in the wind.

I watched Hazel as she played in the sand and said over and over again "This is fun, Mom!" I couldn't tell if she was trying to convince herself or just trying to show me that she could have fun without getting in the water.

She convinced Daddy and Owen to help her build a castle

One of my favorite moments was when she found this "nest" (aka wad of seaweed) and decided that the reason the seagull kept coming near us was because he was trying to get this nest back. It definitely didn't have anything to do with the Doritos that were being dropped into the sand around us. So she decided to give this poor birdie his nest back. It was hilarious watching her run after him trying to calm him with her sweet high-pitched voice.

She finally just set the nest down and flapped her arms a couple of times while giving her finest seagull call. I guess she thought this was the best way to make him aware of her intentions. I was laughing too hard to get a picture of the wing flapping.

Let me just have one moment where I talk about my self-loathing. It was not exactly uplifting to flop around on the beach watching young twenty-somethings with perfect bodies prance around me. I just ate a few oreos while comparing my body to theirs. Then I found this guy. Oh how I wish I could have gotten a better picture of him without bringing attention to myself. And I wish he hadn't put his arm in front of his distended belly right as I took this picture. I mean, come on! A speedo is never exactly exciting to see, but especially when it is on a pale body with chicken legs and an engorged gut. Watching him frolic in the waves was definitely entertaining and helped take my mind off the fact that I was literally the only woman on the beach that day without a model's figure.

The next morning, we started out with a filling breakfast at The Mission...yummy.

While waiting for a table, these three young girls walked up to the menu that was posted on the window to decide what they were going to order. I overheard one girl asking another "What's $1.50 and $2.50? " and then she answered herself with "Oh yeah... $3.00." Nobody corrected her. It was awesome.

And then we did this tour of all these ships. They were cool. Don't ask me to repeat a single fact about any of them. But we got some cute pics! :)

This was Hazel attempting to skip.

And some more of my favorite beach pictures from day two. Owen also had to be forced into the water, but decided at the last minute that he liked it and I think he even got his head wet at one point.

Why do people insist on taking these pictures of themselves? Do they EVER turn out flattering?!

Owen's "souvenir" that he wanted to bring home. Not in MY car, buddy!

There were no bathrooms close by. So Hazel announced "I have to pee" and dug herself a little hole in the ground. Yep..I'm serious. That's how we roll...white trash style.

Owen was desperate to be buried in the sand, but I'm pretty sure he immediately regretted it.

Sandy wedgie...

The trip home :(

Our trip was too short and we came home to WAY too much stress, but it was a sorely needed vaca and I'm glad we did it.

And the grand finale (and to make up for the whalish pictures I posted of myself).....

What a man.

Fish Whisperer?

2009-07-14T21:43:00.000-07:00

Swim Whisperer? Whatever. Let's just call him a great swim instructor. My kids have started taking semi-private lessons from a friend from church and he has been AMAZING! The first day, Hazel screamed and cried as usual. I just went inside and let Holden do his thing. She stopped crying about 1 minute later and by the end of her class, she was excited to tell me what she had done and was actually WILLING to go back next time. It's been so great. She is still progressing a little slowly and not necessarilly thrilled to put her face under, but she does it! And she does it without screaming and fighting. That's all the progress I need!

She wouldn't even let this position happen with the last teacher...

much less this even less secure one.

He had them swim together and even "race" each other across the pool. I think that helped her get excited about it.

She even let THIS happen for a fraction of a second...
and came up with a smile on her face!!!!

Owen needed the most practice on backstroke and floating on his back. His progress has been amazing! He actually even floated on his back all by himself today without any help. I don't know why that part has been so scary for him, but I am so proud of him for overcoming!

And you should see his breaststroke! Here he is learning the proper leg movements. He made it across the whole pool today doing his breaststroke without holding his nose. What a man.

And this was my favorite poolside picture yet from this summer.

Owenisms

2009-07-03T12:46:00.000-07:00

I have barely recovered from Girl's Camp. It was insanely fun and I will post about it later.

In the meantime, here are a couple of Owen's latest:

1. I had a horrible morning the other day. It was just one of those mornings where I was so lacking in sleep that my puffy eyes were only allowing a tiny slit of vision.....resulting in me dropping everything I touched. I was running late and grouchy that I had to work. I finally got over-frustrated and marched into my bedroom to yell at my peacefully sleeping husband "I NEED YOUR HELP. I AM LATE AND EVERYTHING IS GOING WRONG! GET UP!"

Probably not the nicest way request his assistance.

Anyway- just a couple of minutes later, Owen came in the room to announce, "Mom. I just said a prayer that everything would start going RIGHT!"

Holy preciousness. I love that boy. What a good example.

2. Reaching behind himself, Owen proceeded to stick his hands into an undesirable crevice. I said "What are you doing?! Does your bum itch?" and he said "No...I am just trying to give myself a wedgie."

3. He was trying to describe a cartoon to me and telling me how this kid was jumping up to catch a cloud but he couldn't jump very high. He paused for a long time to try to think of an appropriate way to explain why the kid couldn't jump high enough, and finally said, "He had a weight problem."

I don't recall ever using such politically correct terminology. I thought it was a little odd and gave him an intrigued look. I guess he thought I didn't understand, so in an exasperated voice he said "You know......he was.....the "F" word."

pause....

"Eeeefffffff..........Aaaaaaaaa........T! Fat, Mom. He was fat."

I just never could think of a response.

Water torture....

2009-06-22T12:33:00.000-07:00

Last week, Hazel and Owen's swim classes started. I was so thrilled that Hazel's friend Alex was signed up for the same time slot as us. I thought this would make for much smoother sailing. And at first it appeared to be working. Here they are meeting their teacher and looking thrilled to be such big girls!

That was before Hazel realized that she would actually have to get in the water. Her teacher immediately made her put her face under water. Even though Hazel is deathly afraid of water being on her face, I was glad that the instructor was being so assertive. Then they went right into this:

Which led to this:

Little did she know it was only going to get worse. Her teacher made them tandem dive for objects on the bottom of the pool. On the FIRST DAY! Now I was starting to feel a little annoyed. My child was screaming bloody murder and clawing to get away and this girl just kept dunking her under the water. Now....maybe she isn't aware of this, but when you go under water with your mouth wide open, you choke on the water. Maybe I should have explained that to her.

Then they practiced this:

Which led to some more of this:

Every time the teacher let go of her, Hazel scrambled to get out of the water and perch safely on the side of the pool crying and looking wounded. I just don't quite get how this is at all productive. They didn't build any trust or take the time to get to know each other. Hazel just sees this girl as a human torture device and now starts crying every time she sees her. I had to talk to the manager and get her to tell Hazel's teacher that I would be hanging out by the side of the pool during classes and making sure that Hazel was not pushed past her comfort level. It just went too far. I am ALL for tough love, but it went beyond that point. She even had nightmares about swimming after that first class. Even though she is getting a little better about trying things, she is still crying through every class and does not trust her teacher at all. I can tell she is just waiting for the girl to throw her in the water at any moment. Poor baby.

In sharp contrast, her friend Alex loved every minute of it and volunteers to do everything and even wants the teacher to let go of her so she can do it "all by myself"

Here she is swimming to the edge:

And darn proud of herself!

Notice I have no pictures of Owen. I almost forgot he was even there. Just to fill you in, though, everything on his end is going just swimmingly (der der) and he looks like an old pro out there!

2009-06-20T15:52:00.000-07:00

After sleeping in Flagstaff in one of the worst hotels I have ever been to, we gladly packed up and headed out. Ok, fine- I will give a quick synopsis of this hotel. It was a Travelodge. Ever been to one? The funny thing is, while looking for our hotel, we passed one Travelodge of the seedy pay-by-the-week motel variety, and then soon after passed something else called Travelodge that looked slightly more than decent. Ours was somewhere in between. Here were my personal complaints (everyone had their own):

*The advertised "heated pool" was frigid (also the kids' top complaint) and when I called to make sure that said advertisement was accurate, the young man working at the front desk answered after 18 rings, answered my questions curtly (and with blatant lies), and hung up on me without any farewell. Then when Nathan took the kids down to the pool to freeze their bummies off, and headed to the front desk to report that, in fact the pool was NOT heated, the young man had a hard time getting off his cell phone to converse with Nathan.

*The room reeked of stale cigarettes.

*The in-room refrigerator that qualified this place as an "inn" didn't function.

*There was something brown splattered on the bathroom wall. This beats the dried up spaghetti under the armoire in our last hotel. Why is it that people don't think to clean a wall when cleaning a hotel bathroom. It seems SO obvious and sensible to me. I just don't get it.

*There was a conveniently located restaurant directly on the hotel property that started filling up with hootin', hollerin' drunkards at promptly 10:00 pm and continued to escalate the level of noise throughout the night.

And they couldn't even have comfortable beds to make up for it. I didn't sleep a wink.

Enough of that....

We started out with the meteor crater. Nathan and the kids had already been, but I had never seen this huge...hole. Nathan had mentioned that it was a little windy on his last visit, but nothing he said could have prepared any of us (including him) for this tempest that slapped us all across the face as we exited our car. We made the mistake of opening two doors at once and the crosswind ripped all loose articles from our vehicle. The one we couldn't catch was a plastic bag full of styrofoam chips (of course). It literally got sucked about 60 ft. into the air in a matter of half a second. Once all the styrofoam had spilled out all over the ground, the bag went CRAZY! Everyone stopped to point...it was the talk of the town...or the crater. Also important to note- I dug a ponytail holder out of my bag, only to have it disappear into the wind as well.

Here we are approaching the crater. This is to give you an idea of the impact. See how the ground suddenly rises? Those aren't mountains...or hills. That is where the ground was pushed up from the impact of the crater. Amazing, right?

Cool sign on the side of the 3 mile road that leads to the crater.

Just to give you an idea! I had to hold my shirt down the whole time so my brasierre wouldn't show. I wasn't wearing a pretty one that day. The wind literally took my breath away. And I was afraid if I wasn't connected to Hazel at all times, she might float away.

Nathan tried to hold my hair down for this one....to no avail.

As we are looking down at the crater, a huge shadow started to cover it. Have you seen Independence Day? I'm not going to pretend I didn't get a little freaked out.

Inside the museum. Don't my kids look like wax statues? I guess it was the lighting. Creepy.

After being sufficiently amazed by the crater, we continued on our way home. We decided to stop at a place called Montezuma's Castle. We have passed this place so many times, and even stopped at the Sonic located right outside it's entrance, but we have never stopped to see what it was all about. Luckliy Natalie and Richard had looked it up and were interested enough to check it out. It was pretty stinking awesome. Montezuma had never actually lived there, but it was just as interesting as if he had.

I can see why the Sinagua chose this spot. It was so beautiful and peaceful. There was a creek nearby and beautiful trees and wildlife all around.

It was fun to see all these touristy things so close to our home that we have never checked out.

I love Arizona.

And I love this sweet little face...

And these crazy little farts...

Okay...that's the end of our forever long weekend. And now it's already the next weekend. So let's move on to more interesting things, shall we?

Day two of our travels....

2009-06-17T20:47:00.001-07:00

Okay.....so back to our little miniature road trip. We hopped in the car the second day to head up to Flagstaff. HA! I love how I say "hopped in the car" as if it's just such a breeze to get my kids packed up and situated. Natalie and Richard met us at our house in the morning- at the -time we told them to meet us- and then ended up having to sit in their car and wait for almost an hour for us to get our crap together. Life with kids. Yay.

I just love this drive! Even with kids. I love Phoenix, and I love driving north of Phoenix- leaving the city and seeing everything turn all deserty and then the cacti pop up everywhere and you drive further and further into the hills and then you get to Sedona and see this popping up outside your window:

I mean, really...who could ever get sick of that?! This state's landscape is so diverse and beautiful. I have already been here 3 yrs. (can you believe that?) and I haven't gotten sick of it yet. In fact, as I've said before, I think I have grown to love it even more than the first time I laid eyes on it. So I, for one, enjoyed the drive just as much as, if not more than, the rest of the trip.

One of our stops in Sedona was to see the only McDonald's that doesn't have golden arches. In Sedona, they gave it turquoise arches to blend in and complement the town's main attractions. We kind of thought there were actually going to be big arches instead of this little wall, but it was still fun- because we had fudge sundaes.

Once we got into Flagstaff, I found plenty of opportunities (scenic overlooks) to make the kids pose for pictures. It's so fun to visit Flagstaff in the winter to play in the snow, but I had no idea how gorgeous it is this time of the year. The weather was perfection and everything was in bloom. I'm pretty sure I want to live there.

How cute are they?!?!?! I just can't get over how grown up my kids are. At one of our stops, we used these little mountainside toilets. I couldn't get a great picture, but it was basically this huge, dark abyss poorly disguised by a toilet seat. Hazel was a little apprehensive, and I could totally understand why. It was so far down that you couldn't even hear when her pee finally hit bottom. That's a little unnerving!!! Who knows? Maybe it is still floating down right now trying to find an appropriate landing spot.

We visited Flagstaff's famous Lowell Observatory. I missed out on getting to look through the huge telescope the night before, but I did get to participate in the tour the next morning, and it was pretty awesome.

Here's the building where Pluto was discovered. Cool? I think so. Sure, Pluto is no longer recognized as a planet, but it was a planet long enough for me to think it was pretty spectacular to see the exact spot where it was discovered!

Here's the original observatory:

which houses this huge telescope. This telescope was made partially with random scrap materials- parts of it are made from old bike parts (you can see bicycle chains, etc. all over it) and one part of it is even made out of an old frying pan. Genius.

So- those were our awesome sights for that morning....tomorrow you can sign back on to see our pictures of the giant meteor crater. Aren't you excited?!?!

Stinkin' Cute

2009-06-16T08:37:00.000-07:00

We interrupt the much anticipated (boring) travel log to bring you this special guest appearance by Sleeping Beauty.

Hazel loves dressing up. I'm assuming most little girls do. This is her one and only dress-up costume, but that doesn't stop her from getting excited every time she puts it on. This time she added wings, blue "Cinderella" earrings and lots of bling to the ensemble and then asked me to take a picture.

Here is a close-up of her make-up. When she wants to wear make-up she smears her lip gloss all over her eyes and cheeks and lips. It's quite becoming.

After her photo session, she ran into my room to look at herself in the mirror and proclaimed,

"HOLY COW! I am SO stinkin' cute!"

And her latest quote that took me by surprise "Mom. Your hair is WAY too brownish. You need to get more sunshine."

Touristy treasures....

2009-06-15T19:13:00.000-07:00

Nathan's sister, Natalie, and her husband, Richard came for a visit this past weekend. We took them around Phoenix and a little further north to see some of the touristy things we could think of. The first day we visited the Phoenix Children's Museum. I know I have posted pictures of this place before, but I just love it. It's just so darn cute and my kids could have stayed all day.

*Disclaimer- All pictures from this weekend were taken on my cell phone.

Owen had to be snagged for a picture

Here is an example of some of the cool artwork.. a fish made from recycled plastic bottles. So creative.

I think this was our favorite exhibit of the day. These are vacuum tubes that you can shove scarves in and watch them make their way to the top, shoot out, and float down for you to catch.

Hazel liked to change the direction of the tubes to be right on her level so they would shoot out into her face.

And she also liked her reading time with Aunt Natalie ...

She jumped in one of these tubes and started running in place and clawing at the walls and said "Look! I'm one of those things!" Luckily Aunt Natalie was smart enough to figure out that she meant a hamster....I would have guessed crazed lunatic.

Day two will be documented tomorrow.....

What's happening in YOUR neighborhood?

2009-06-14T19:16:00.000-07:00

In OUR neighborhood, we have sidewalk chalk swastikas, gas station air guitar and pedal-by shootings.

I love our neighborhood. It's a quiet street with quaint little houses and relatively well-maintained yards. It's a family- friendly neighborhood in a great school district. Yet it still remains that we live in central Phoenix. And that will be made known.

*******
Owen is good friends with Zack- a neighborhood boy. I think I have mentioned him before. What I have never mentioned about Zack is his affinity for all things German. Once, when riding in our car, he said "I don't like the American flag, I like the German flag. When I grow up, I'm going to work for the Germans." Did this raise a red flag? Yes, indeedy. And I don't mean a red flag with a white circle and a black cross whose arms continue at right angles.

But he is such a sweet innocent boy, I knew that he didn't really know what he was saying. I ignored it. I ignored it when he came home from school one day with a swastika drawn on his arm (apparently his teacher doesn't see the same red flags I saw). But when I walked out my front door one afternoon and found my driveway covered in sidewalk chalk swastikas, I decided to take action. After I quickly hosed down the whole driveway, I had a long 'discussion' with poor little Zack. A discussion that involved my finger in his face. If nothing else, I at least made it clear to him that I don't want any more swastikas on my driveway.

*******

The other day I took my Young Women to the corner store for some candy bars (long story). I sent them inside with some money, and as I waited in the car, a man exited the gas station. This man was dirty and hairy, dressed poorly, and riding a bike. No surprise there. But as he walked to his bike (parked directly in front of my car) and set down his mysterious "brown bag" that contained his corner store purchases, he proceeded to give me quite the air guitar performance. This was no joke. His head was down...so as to better concentrate on the fingers furiously plucking away at his jeans pocket while the other was high in the air constructing chords. This was the longest guitar I have ever seen. And he was not messing around. He did stop periodically to look around with a drunken smile, and then continued on with his five minute song. It worries me that watching him brought a smile to my face. But I will readily admit that I sighed with relief when my girls were safely in the car.

*******

The other night at around 9:30, Nathan and I heard several loud, sharp noises. We thought that it was someone rapping on one of our windows. We ran to the front of the house and looked through the blinds to see some of our neighbors standing in their driveway. We walked outside and joined what quickly became a neighborhood block party formed to discuss the gunfire that we all heard. Then, the young man who lives down the street came out with his gangsta friends and nonchalantly told us (and soon thereafter told a policeman) a story of a guy riding by on a bicycle and firing shots. A pedal-by shooting. Since this neighborhood young man had recently been released from prison, we were all pretty darn sure that he was somehow involved in this shooting. It is so funny to me that half the neighborhood stood around with this guy and his friends and expressed their outrage while he pretended to be a part of us. I still have no idea what actually happened. He was taken away in handcuffs later that evening, but walking down the street early the next morning. Apparently whatever his story was eventually checked out. But that certainly doesn't make me feel safe living on his same street.

So....what's happening in YOUR neighborhood?

Unconnected...

2009-06-08T14:12:00.000-07:00

And now I shall bore you all further by posting my recently uploaded pictures...

Hazel got a haircut. For those of you who never see her, you probably won't be able to tell that she is missing about 3-4 inches of stringy, dead, strangely colored hair. I asked her if I could take a picture to send to Aunt Meredith and she proceeded to strike pose after pose with no encouragement or direction from me.

She had her friend Alex over for the whole day on Friday. I was in HEAVEN. Those girls played happily in Hazel's room the whole day. It was divine. They would come out periodically to show me their costumes and/or jewelry. I was especially impressed with Hazel's sharing abilities. She let Alex have the real princess dress and shoes while she settled for a fancy church dress and shoes. She was just thrilled to actually have a girl to play with for a change.

With all this quiet playing there was bound to be a huge mess. I couldn't have cared less. But I did suggest at one point that they try to pick a few things up so they would have more room to breathe. I found them a few minutes later cleaning up (angels) and making up a cleaning song to motivate themselves. I'm not sure why the chorus was "kite kite kite" or why they were "walking through the woods" while cleaning, but it was precious nonetheless.

Owen loves glowsticks. I'm not sure why. But I found a big box for $1.00 at Michael's and I've been trying to convince him to only light one or two a day so he doesn't waste them all at once. Last night, when I went in his room to see if he was asleep yet, I found him like this.

Oh well. It was a temporary joy anyway. I guess Ben 10 wears some kind of bracelet like that.

Yesterday, Hazel was using my potty and it took me a while to realize that she was in there for a good 15 minutes. Doing this....

It's hard to tell from the picture, but she had a bunch of makeup on her face and clips in her hair. I had just bought several new eyeshadows and she had managed to dig big holes in every single one. I sure am glad I use the "cheap" make-up.

It's hard work being a princess...

Funnies

2009-06-05T09:48:00.000-07:00

I took the kids to a morning movie the other day. After leaving the theater four times in the first 5 minutes of the movie, I decided to buy the kids a big fat coke...thinking "That ought to shut them up!"

I walked back in and plopped the coke down. Hazel, barely taking her eyes off the screen, leaned over and took a sip. She turned to me with wide eyes and whispered "Mom! Is this for us?" I nodded and she got so excited that she forgot all about the whispering and yelled "OWEN! IT'S CAFFEINE!!!"

After the movie we went to get haircuts. Owen was in the chair and I was keeping Hazel entertained. She kept spinning the chair and hitting my leg, so I said "Hazel- please quit hitting my shin" which of course led to an explanation of what a shin is. After that conversation, there was a short silence and then Owen announced to the salon:

"My mom has three chins."

Summertime....and the livin' is NOT easy (unless you are under the age of 16)

2009-06-04T22:22:00.000-07:00

If only I had a picture of me looking tired, frazzled and stressed out, this post would be complete. But here are some things around the never-will-be-clean-again house that say it is Summer...

sidewalk chalk

deflated floats

towels that never get put away

a disgustingly filthy porch

kiddie pool surrounded by lifeguard chairs

owen's glasses

Owen is SEVEN

2009-05-30T14:23:00.000-07:00

I mean...seriously. Can you believe it?! I have a seven year old.

I am trying not to feel too much guilt about the fact that I threw a party together in two days for poor little Owen (complete with a last minute evite). I guess he doesn't really know the difference! Friends showed up (thank you SO much for coming last minute and saving mommy's butt), cake was eaten, presents were opened. It's all the same to him.

Our fanTABulous neighbors let us use their pool for the party. Owen had three friends from his 1st grade class there, plus the five neighborhood boys that I pretty much think of as my own children.

getting prepped for some serious swimming...

pimpin in the pool...

Martha (my neighbor) was bound and determined to make Hazel get comfortable with the floaties. She screamed and cried and clung to the ladder.

But once Summer got in the pool, she jumped right to her and, as you can see, the look of terror left her face and was quickly replaced by sheer joy. Man, she loves that girl.

And my poor little birthday boy got stung by a bee in the pool! It was SO sad. He was totally brave about it, though, and even pulled the stinger out himself. Impressive, huh? It's that "hole" on his pinky.

This picture makes me want to cry!

Despite the potentially fatal poison being injected into his body, Owen had such a great time. He got lots of fun presents- including fun pool toys and a GIANT Bakugan. I loved the genuinely thrilled look on his face after ripping open each gift.

Harry (a neighbor)'s response when I tried to get him to pose for a picture.

the group that gathers when it's time for gifts.

The whole crew (minus Brody)

blowing out the candle

licking the icing

Hazel said "This was the best party of my life!"

Oh, the HORROR!!!

2009-05-24T21:33:00.000-07:00

Ok- this is NOT the part of my post that earned it it's title. Just a few Hazelisms I wanted to share before I freak your freak.

After the blessing of the sacrament on Sunday, Hazel turned to me and whispered "Mom...was that Jesus talking?" SO precious!

Then halfway through church I was in the hall and she appeared out of nowhere
(supposed to be in class) and came running down the hall screaming "MOM! I touched poop in a bag!" Imagine my bewilderment! I just stared at her for a second. I wasn't even sure where my line of questioning should begin. Then her teachers came around the corner and explained that they had been on a walk and saw a bag on the ground. Trying to teach her about keeping God's earth clean, they said "Let's pick up the bag and put it in the trashcan." Lo and behold...the bag was filled with poop. Of course. You know, come to think of it...I never found out if they took a trip to the bathroom after that to wash hands.

As I was typing this, she grabbed a jar of rubber cement and asked me if it was medicine for cows. LOL. Get it? There's a picture of a bull on the front.

____________________________

On a far less humurous note, I stripped down last night to take a shower, opened the curtain and saw a huge cockroach chillin on the wall- just waiting for a poor, naked, unsuspecting victim like myself. So I screamed for Nathan and he brought some bug spray and a fly swatter and did work on the roach. What a man.

When I got out of the shower, I decided to spray the whole bathroom.
Within a couple of seconds, I saw a bunch of big black and red ants. Like ten of them! I called Nathan again and we started squishing them with tissues and properly disposing of them (in the tiolet). We determined that they seemed to be coming from behind the mirror, so I sprayed around the edges of the mirror and left the bathroom.

When I returned, I stepped into a real-life horror film. My entire bathroom was under attack. There were ants EVERYWHERE. They were literally scaling the walls, swimming in our sinks and dripping from the ceiling. It was disgusting. I gagged repeatedly. Unfortunately, I didn't think quickly enough to record the live evidence. My only concern was to turn it into dead evidence. Nathan fogged the whole room, shut the door and plugged up the cracks with a towel. They were all dead in the morning and yours truly had the pleasure of sweeping them up. I counted about 250, and I have seen more creeping out throughout the day which means we probably didn't even phase the majority of them. Time to bring in the professionals!

I sure wish these pictures even began to do justice....

A whole lot of nothing...

2009-05-21T06:21:00.000-07:00

Just a share....

Is anyone else as entertained as me by the dramatic irony of a day that starts with sharing the gospel with a friend and ends with screaming curse words while throwing cleaning supplies across a customer's driveway?

_____________________

It's that time of year again!

_____________________

Projects...

One project I have been working on is finding gifts for the Young Women's birthdays. I wanted something that was cute and would make them feel special and pretty...but I still wanted to be able to give them a spiritual message. So- at Pier 1 I found these ADORABLE glass rings for $4 each. That is the cheapest I have ever seen them. So I bought a ton of them and wrote a little note for each of them. It talked about how the ring is made layer upon layer and filled with "imperfections" that make it unique and beautiful. Then I compared this to the way God has made each of us layer upon layer and how each girl is unique and their flaws and 'layers' (the paths they have chosen) are what make them beautiful. I have given them to a few girls so far, and they seem to really like it. I cried writing the note. I love these girls in a way that I can't possibly explain.

I am the crappy homeroom parent that didn't give her son's teachers anything on teacher appreciation day. So I decided to make them something cute for an end-of-the-year present. I think it turned out pretty cute. I hit up the clearance shelves and Pier 1 and got these adorable, huge green wine goblets. You can't tell how cute they are with all that wrapping, but they were cute...and the perfect size for stuffing some goodies in. I filled them with some cute soaps, yummy smelling candles, a cooling eye mask, a blockbuster gift card and a little hand-written thank you note that I rolled up and put one of those cute glass rings around. I hope they think they're as precious as I do!

____________________

Temporary pleasures...

I know these things won't follow me into the afterlife, but sometimes just buying a new cute thing for myself or my home brings me so much pleasure. I am not bowing down to them or using them to replace the eternal joy that the Lord offers. But I see nothing wrong with having something shiny in a room that makes me smile each time I see it! Especially when it was on clearance! (For those of you that don't know already....that was all supposed to be humorous sarcasm).

Here are some of the shinies I bought on those awesome Pier 1 clearance shelves. It's been nice to add a little bit of color to my otherwise VERY neutral home. It's much easier to buy a couple of colorful trinkets than it is to commit to the time and energy it takes to paint all the walls!

*Ms. Fishy - thank you for making my hall bathroom sparkle*

* Teal drum lamp- thank you for completing this tiny corner of my home and shining your light on the pictures of my precious niece and nephews. You have really brightened up my $5 chair and picked-it-out-of-the-dump table.*

*Throw pillows- thanks for adding such color and life to my old, mangy sleeper sofa. Your beautiful embroidery makes me giggle with excitement.*

*Gorgeous misshaped turquoise dinner plates- thank you for bringing your charm to my otherwise bland dining room. But most importantly, thank you for being marked down to $1.50 a plate so that I could afford to buy a lot of you!*

I also got a new throw. What are the chances that the EXACT throw I have been wanting for my living room was being majorly clearanced out?! And a couple of other decorative things that ranged between $.48 and $3.00. For that price, I can find a place to use them.

____________________

The Hales (a family @ church) invited me to come to their oldest daughter's senior recital. I can't turn down the chance to listen to beautiful music and get out of the house right at the kids' bedtime! But I'm pretty sure I will never be invited back. I sat by Melanie (one of my young women) and she brings out the 'best' in me. ;)

All my goofing off aside, though, I really enjoyed myself. I watched/listened to these people and kept thinking "I need to go back to school." I mean, why didn't I finish?! Obviously I want to be able to play like Rachel! Obviously I want my fingers to be able to fly across the keys like crazy weird mechanical spiders. What am I doing just sitting around on my butt (aka working like crazy and raising two kids) when I could be continuing my education!?

I will attempt to upload videos tomorrow.

Less than a week to go...

2009-05-15T22:47:00.000-07:00

Pretty much the best show ever created. Can't wait for it to start. I am watching YouTube videos to prep myself for the excitement.

I had a panic moment today where I thought "What if Wade Robson isn't on this season?!?!?!"

But surely the producers understand that it would no longer be So You Think You Can Dance without him. I mean, what would we do without routines like this?!

If you have a few minutes....

2009-05-09T21:19:00.001-07:00

Have you seen this movie?

If not, go rent it right now. Anyway- the moment in the movie that he realizes he might lose his wife and unborn child, a Kate Bush song plays. This Woman's Work. Holy beautiful. This song is just so darn cool, but I happen to be not too fond of Kate's voice. She's like Bob Dylan- a writer...not a singer.

Anyway- this was already posted on my Facebook page, but I will share it here, too. That's how obsessed I am with this girl's voice and this group. I just can't stop listening to them. I think they are so unique and fun. It's a crappy recording, but I still love it!

2009-05-09T00:38:00.000-07:00

I hope someone will get as much enjoyment from this as I did.

On another funny note, Nathan and I went to Scottsdale to enjoy a concert in the park with Erin and Baby T. While playing on the playground, Nathan overheard two little girls (between 9 and 11) talking about another little girl's outfit and one of them said "Ohh. I like that. I think it's Chanel."

Yep. That's Scottsdale. Lol. Sorry Erin.

Chasing The Clouds Away.....

2009-05-02T20:30:00.000-07:00

My friend Shelley got free tickets to Sesame Street Live. Her little girl, Alex, is the same age as Hazel and they love each other (sometimes).

Hazel and I talked beforehand about what this performance was. She has never been to anything like that, and it was kind of hard to explain. She asked if it was going to be at a movie theater and I said "No- it's the real characters from Sesame Street dancing on a stage." She thought about that for a while and then said "You mean there are people wearing costumes from Sesame Street?" She's always one step ahead of the game.

I had no idea what she would think of it. She was excited when we walked into the theater and saw them dancing on the stage. Then we were led to our seats.....three rows from the stage. She got quieter and quieter the closer we got. She sat down and assumed a timid position of uncertainty:

Almost immediately, this girl:

got reaaalllly close and was touching children close by. Hazel freaked out just a bit and didn't completely let her guard down for the rest of the show. Even when the girl wandered away, she continued to look around the theater and ask every couple of minutes "Where's the girl with the blue headband?" And I don't mean in an excited way...I mean in a preparing for danger way. She would lean towards me and look around anxiously as if she thought headband girl would jump out from behind her at any moment.

Everyone got a little more comfortable as the show went on. Hazel would relax and actually let go of the armrest for a moment, and then some other character would creep over and she would resume the lean and clench position.

But in her defense, wouldn't you be slightly worried if this glob of fuzzy spasticness was towering inches from your personal space?

Luckily Mommy was there to keep her safe.

I loved seeing their precious little entranced faces.

Even Shelley was too spellbound to pose for a picture.

Then Hazel got pregnant. No, seriously....what's up with her shirt in this picture?

Thanks to the amazing lighting technicians (whatever they are called), it even rained on stage! Pure magic.

But not near as magic as the cotton candy. Hazel didn't want her hands to get sticky, so she just dove right in with her teeth.

All in all, she was a happy camper and enjoyed the show.

However, here are a couple of videos that cracked me up. This was toward the end of the show when she was a little less leery of the performers. She was dancing and enjoying the music, but in the second video, you will see that The Count got a little too close for comfort. She practically dove towards me and clung to my arm with fear.

These girls are so funny. At the sitter's, they are inseperable. They talk about each other at home. But when we finally get them together (away from their normal meeting place), they will barely make eye contact. It's so weird. Here is the one brief moment that they touched each other.

But when I tried to get a better picture outside, they wouldn't even stand close to each other. Funny girls.

Thanks Shelley and Alex for making our day so memorable!

Country Club Ward's Got Talent

2009-05-02T08:33:00.000-07:00

We had a talent show for our combined activity last Tuesday. I was SO impressed with everyone- especially since I practically forced them all to sign up. We did have a LOT of people not show up, and a couple backed out at the last minute, but for the most part everybody got up on that stage and did something, and they were all really good!

We had a skateboard performance, spray paint art, raps, piano, sculpting, guitars and singers, carwheels, a trumpet, bells, and other things I'm sure I'm forgetting. This WONDERFUL couple (the Tanners) brought all our necessary equipment and practically ran the whole show for us! What lifesavers they were! Without them, it would have been even more unorganized. I really had no idea what I was doing.

Anyway- I'm so sad Cynthia got around to posting this before me, but I have a whole different audience, so I am going to post it as well. Not to play favorites, but these two girls wrote an original rap and I just thought it was so hilarious, I had to share. Presenting Melanie and Rachel....enjoy:

Photo and video editing at www.OneTrueMedia.com

Deja Vu

2009-04-28T21:58:00.000-07:00

While working today, there was an open window through which I could hear the screams of a wild monkey. Then I thought "Wait a minute. I'm not in South America. Why is there a wild monkey outside?" so I went outside to check it out. This sweet little quail couple was sitting right outside the door. When I opened the door, they bolted and their noises changed to soft yips.

As most of you know, I am a lover of all God's creatures (*disclaimer* I firmly believe that Satan created pigeons and spiders). I whipped my phone out to take a picture of the loving couple. Then I heard a rustling in the bushes next to me and realized that there was a nest full of babies that Mom and Dad were warning with their calls. So I did what any animal lover would do and kicked the bush a couple of times so I could scare them out and get another picture. I swear there's a baby there. It's right in the corner and looks like a pile of spotted pebbles.

It brought to mind an experience I had circa six years ago. Our home in GA was across from a new neighborhood that was being plotted out for future building. It was basically trees and REALLY tall grass and some stacks of building materials. Nathan and I took a walk down said street one day and came across these:

Aren't they precious? I thought "Awwwww- baby ducks! There's no water around here! Where did they come from? Poor things. I will follow them and catch them and cuddle with them." A perfectly reasonable thought, no? I didn't stop to wonder why these ducklings had such long legs.

Let me tell you....you don't know fear until a wild mama turkey hen raises up out of the tall grass beside you and displays her five foot wingspan in an obvious threat to your life.

Recalling this encounter made me feel a wee bit of detestation for these quail. I mean, sure, they clucked and yelped to warn their babies of danger, but they ran away! And I'm talkin' FAR away. The closer I got to the nest, the further mom and dad ran. How sad is that? What makes one bird fiercly protective of her young and the other so self-serving? Any thoughts? Give it to me Cyndi- I know you will have some thoughts. ;)

2009-04-18T20:51:00.000-07:00

Other People's Stories....

I was complaining to a friend about Hazel's horrible sleep issues. The night before she had been up 5 or 6 times and I was feeling like a zombie. Before you all give unsolicited advice, we have tried almost everything, so just let it be. ;)

Anyway, my friend told me that when she was little she shared a room with three other siblings and she was still sleeping in a crib at the age of four becuase there was nowhere else for her to sleep. So one night she was throwing a fit about sleeping and her mother finally got fed up and crawled into the crib with her. The crib obviously collapsed.

I laughed hysterically at this story because I can SO relate to that poor mother's frustration. It's the middle of the night and you are SO tired that you can't even think straight and you will do just about anything to get that child to SHUT UP! It's just funny that we all share similar stories even when we feel like there is no one out there who understands our troubles.

Nuts...

Today, Owen flopped himself onto his bed. Unbeknownst to him, there was a rock solid (possibly made of iron) antique piggy bank on his bed and he slammed the back of his head on it.

He cried, I comforted, we moved on and thought nothing of it.

Then, tonight when I was giving him a bath, he screamed when I washed his hair. Then he screamed again when I dried his hair with the towel. I finally looked at the back of his head and he totally had a big gash there! Crusty blood mingled with fresh blood (not to mention the size and crookedness of the gash) got me a little worried.

Anyway-as I was inspecting the wound, Hazel was leaning over his head and making sympathetic noises. Clicking her tongue, sucking air through her teeth, etc. Then she said in a really sad, worried voice:

"Oooohhhhh...I can see his nuts inside his head!"

Adaptation...

I guess when the only person you have to play with is your big brother (or your little sister), you are willing to adapt your familiar imaginings to the liking of your playmate.

Owen and Hazel were in the bathtub tonight and the only toys that had been left in there from the previous bath were princesses. So after a few minutes, I heard this coming from the bathroom:

Owen: *explosion noises and gunfire*

Hazel: "No! Run, Ariel!" "Okay, Belle"

Owen: "Cinderella's going to kill you!"

Whatever makes them play nicely together is fine by me.

Hazel

2009-04-16T19:43:00.001-07:00

"What if water came in our house till our whole house was filled up and we were all under water and a big piece of asparagus- THIS big- was in the water and it was in front of our eyes so we couldn't see anything and I was like 'Hey I can't see anything. This asparagus is too big'? That would be awesome."

The Girls

2009-04-14T21:59:00.003-07:00

Can I just gush for a minute? I love my Young Women. LOVE! I actually can't believe I haven't posted about them before this. I haven't stopped thinking about them since I was called as YW president on March 22nd. They are such a diverse group of girls, and they are all so smart and witty and talented and beautiful. I just love being around them.

So....tonight we went on a night hike up North Mountain. I'm pretty sure my legs died and fell off my body halfway up the mountain (especially since I did dead lifts at the gym this morning), but we had a BLAST. I'm sure some of the girls wouldn't use the word blast, but I thought everyone seemed to enjoy themselves in their own special way. :)

Most of the crew (a couple of girls went down the other side of the mountain).

Our wildly fun presidency

Oh wait...we're being serious now?

Our caRAzy bishop...

...who walked all the way to the top holding an infant.

Some of the girls (and Tamera) decided it would be cool to roll down the steep parking lot pavement. Ouch. I could hear skin slapping the pavement over and over.

Lacie & Jordan

We did it!!!

Amanda and Melanie were ready to go and got sick of us taking pictures...so of course we took their picture.

Summer, Casey and Amanda made it down way before anyone else. Could that be because they never went to the top?!?! ;)

Jordan and Karalyn looking adorable

I have to share one very classic Jordan moment because I know she will be reading this. She decided to tell a blonde joke and she told it like this:

"How do you drown a blonde in a swimming pool? You put a mirror on the bottom of the ground."

We think she meant the bottom of the pool, but maybe we were all confused.

**********
A couple of weeks ago we made ice cream in plastic bags. It was an interesting experiment. Luckily these girls can make just about anything fun and exciting.

Melanie being Melanie

Is it working?

Karen shaking the heck out of her bag

Ice cream makes Alicia happy

I can't wait for girls camp. I just can't get enough of them!!!

You know your wardrobe is limited when....

2009-04-12T10:15:00.000-07:00

...the following conversation ensues with your 6 yr. old.

Owen: I'm sleepy. Maybe we should all go home and take naps (giggles here because the idea is ludicrous in his mind).

pause...

Owen: Do you take a nap every day, Mom?

Me: No. In fact, I was gone all day today working. I barely had time to take a shower before I picked you up.

Owen: Ohhhhh....you took a shower! THAT'S why you're wearing those clothes.

Me: What do you mean?

Owen: Every time you take a shower you put those same clothes on.

_______

And as a side note, yesterday he said:

"Do we have to go to church tomorrow?"

and I said "Yes- it's Sunday"

and he said (in a whiny voice) "But it's EASTER!"

And yes- we definitely had a talk about what Easter is a celebration of.

Hazel is FOUR!

2009-04-09T23:57:00.001-07:00

I can't believe my sweet little baby is FOUR YEARS OLD! It's incredible. She had a really hard time understanding the fact that her birthday was today but her party was not until tomorrow. Soooo...we let her open her gifts from the out-of-towners today so that she would feel special on her bday. Lucky for you, she opened her gifts in my bedroom...the junkiest room in the house. Enjoy...

Aunt Paige sent her a My Little Pony Salon that she just couldn't stop playing with. She came back to it over and over throughout the day.

Notice the little mannequin heads on the top with all of the different hairstyles that pony can try on? She pretended those were the baby ponies and they sang their names (Sally, Emma and Emily) over and over. Kind of creepy.

She even got inspired and pulled out one of her bigger ponies so she could play with it's hair. She brought it to me looking like this and said "Look! She's fancy!" She has about 6 million of Hazel's clippies in her hair.

Paige also sent her some Disney Princess pajamas. I actually managed to catch her reaction as she opened them... And then immediately put them on...

Ghee and Sarah went the Barbie route. They got her a Barbie that she keeps seeing on TV that has a pet dog with a puppy. It comes with a bath to wash the dogs in. Apparently something was missing, though. In the commercial, the dogs get in the mud and have to be washed off. When she opened the gift, she stared at the box for the longest time and then finally asked "Where's the mud?" She was easily appeased when she realized the tub had a functioning shower head. She wanted it opened immediately so she could make the mommy dog and baby dog cuddle together.

They also sent her a new Ken doll and a wedding dress (because she told me she wanted her barbie to get married). She was SO excited about the dress and immediately took Barbie out of her dog-washing clothes so that she could rush off to her wedding with Beach Party Ken.
Obviously Ken didn't realize that he was supposed to dress up for the occasion, but Barbie still looked pretty happy about the whole affair.

Carly heard all the commotion and poked her head out to see what was going on...

then spent a good ten minutes trying to get the ponies opened so she could attack them.

I had a talk with Hazel later this afternoon about how she should act at her party. She is a typical four yr. old and has the tendency to rip through one present after another without giving herself any time to react. I explained to her that people want to know how she feels about their present and that she should take the time to thank each person before moving on to the next gift. I don't actually expect this lesson to stick, but I thought it was at least time to start drilling it into her head.

I was giving her some examples of what she could say when opening a gift and she sad "Or like 'Oh, Thank you so much! This is the perfect thing I always wanted!' " I said "That works!"

I can't wait to see what she says tomorrow! I am already prepping myself for the laughter.

Hazelisms

2009-04-06T09:12:00.000-07:00

We always talk about how it is the LAW for Hazel and Owen to wear their seat belts. Hazel always wants to know what will happen if she doesn't, and I tell her that the police will take her mommy to jail.

We stopped at the bank yesterday and Meredith took Kyle out of his car seat so she could feed him. Hazel stared at her for a minute and then asked "Is Kyle under arrest?"

_____

"MOM! My breath is hungry for some gum!!!"

_____

I have some jeans that are a pretty dark wash with a worn look. In the middle of a store, Hazel walked up to me, felt my crotch and asked "Are you wet?"

_____

Sitting in the car with Meredith, she was trying to get Nick (our neighbor)'s attention, and then she said "I love Nick."

Meredith said "Awww...that's sweet!" and Hazel said "But I shouldn't love him when he's naked."

Luckily, upon investigation, we realized she meant when he is working in the yard with his shirt off.

_____

She was pointing out her bedroom window (which looks out to the back patio) and said "There's a bad guy under the oven." and I said "What?!?!"

(a little more insistently) "A bad guy under the TOASTER!"

She saw that I was still confused and she yelled "THE HOT DOG! THE HOT DOG!"

That's when I realized she was pointing at the grill with it's cover on.

On this, the most important day of the year.....my birthday....

2009-04-02T21:24:00.000-07:00

6:30- Rise and shine
6:31- Check Facebook to see how many GA friends have wished me a happy birthday

6:45- Get the kids dressed and fed

7:30-10:30- Nathan took Owen to school and he and Hazel ran errands. I threw on some dirty clothes and headed outside to clean the grill, pressure wash the patio, and pull a bunch of weeds. Then I laid in the hammock under this beautiful tree and listened to classical music on my ipod mingled with the sounds of nature.

Then this precious mockingbird landed above my head. For a good ten minutes he favored me with his entire repertoire of songs. It was seriously so beautiful and peaceful and relaxing. I almost didn't care that he pooped twice on my freshly washed porch.

10:30- Dropped off some stuff at Goodwill. Went to the carwash and came home with a beautiful, clean car.

11:20- Showered and had a Subway sandwich delivered to me (thank you, hubby) while I laid in bed and watched some shows on my DVR.

I was almost asleep in my bed- ready for a nap- thinking that I had had the best birthday- when Nathan and Hazel got home. Hazel yelled "MOM! We have a surprise for you!" and when I said "Hold on" I heard Nathan in the background saying "Nope- we can't hold on."

I begrudgingly hoisted myself from the bed and walked into my kitchen. Standing at my front door was my sister and best friend, Meredith. My sister who lives in Georgia and has a newborn. Apparently my whole family knew about it for the past month and nobody leaked the secret. It is really hard to pull one over on me and they all did. I didn't expect it for a second. In fact, I think I had a miniature heart attack. I have never gone through such a wide range of emotions in such a short period of time.

I stopped dead in my tracks and stood there in silent shock. Then I think I cursed. My heart was racing and my legs were tingling. Seriousy. Some kind of weird attack. Then a millisecond later I was jumping up and down and screaming and laughing. Then I burst into tears. I still can't believe it. It was by far the best gift I have ever received for any occasion.

Here's how we felt about seeing each other

Then we met Chris and Erin and baby T at Buca di Beppo for a giant pasta dinner. Yum!!!!

Thanks to everyone who helped give me an awesome day!!!! I love you!!!!

Stories

2009-04-01T14:45:00.000-07:00

I left the house today without my phone. What did we do before cell phones?! I was gone for a total of 4 1/2 hours and the whole time I was thinking of all the important calls I could possibly be missing.

1. Owen is lost at the zoo (he's on a field trip today)
2. Your house is on fire.
3. Your husband has been in an accident.
4. You just won a million dollars.
5. Everyone you know just died.

Seriously, though...I felt so stressed out the whole time I was gone. I couldn't see all my facebook notifications, emails, or messages until I got home. I didn't realize how dependent I am.

______________________________________

I cleaned a house yesterday- an empty rental property. The tenants had just moved out. This place was probably 1300 sq. ft. There was brand new carpet, so I didn't have to mess with that. There were brand new tile floors in the bathrooms and kitchen. There was new paint on all the walls. The oven, the dishwasher, and the blinds were all being replaced. I thought I was going to be able to breeze through that place in a couple of hours. It took me EIGHT HOURS to clean. I can't even explain how disgusting the bathrooms were. I had to scrape the tub with a credit card to get the build up off of the sides. I had to use a tootbrush around the toilet seat to get all the goop out of the crevices. Every single light switch and outlet was almost black with dirty fingerprints. The ceiling fans were literally dripping with dust and cobwebs. The windows (on the inside) had to be scrubbed with a sponge before they would come clean. I spent two hours alone on the refrigerator. I had to use a metal scraper on the inside of the fridge to get off the sticky, gooey spills and food that had piled up over the years. I had to use that same scraper on the fronts of the kitchen cabinets because they were caked with grease and food.

Don't get me wrong. I LOVE my job. I love to clean and I love seeing the job get done well and I love the money I make. :) But I get so mad when a place is like that. People LIVED there. They bathed in that tub! They put their food in that refrigerator! I just don't get it. I get that some people aren't as meticulous as others, but people that NEVER clean ANYTHING!?!?!?! I do NOT get that. And it disgusts me.

And to top it all off, by the time I was done there was a half-dead pigeon on the front walkway and I had to push it into the bushes with my broom and it just let me push it along while it pooped all over my broom and the sidewalk. Oh man, I hate pigeons. I tried to purposely hit one with my car today. Am I going to hell?

______________________________________

This morning I woke up at 7:15 and walked out into my living room to find Owen sitting on the couch with his school directory opened in his lap, the phone up to his ear. I gasped and said "WHO are you talking to at 7:15 in the morning?!?" He said, "Kyle."

Needless to say, I had to get Kyle's mom on the phone and apologize profusely. Luckily she had a sense of humor about the whole thing.

______________________________________

My teeth are rotting. I just don't understand. Nathan gives me a hard time about how long I take to brush my teeth. I never fail to brush them twice a day. I never fail to floss at night. So why are my teeth so crappy? I literally have a huge hole in one of my molars. I just discovered it the other day. Just a big ol' hole straight down to the nerve. And a molar on the other side causes me random, occasional, excruciating pain when I bite down on things like bread....a noodle....a french fry. Things you wouldn't expect to hurt. I just already have so much silver in my mouth I can't stand the thought of getting more. :(

I know I am addicted to sugar (as Meredith pointed out), but I would think that if I brushed and flossed regularly that wouldn't matter. It's not like I'm eating sweets all day long....most of the time. So frustrating.

______________________________________

The trip that wouldn't end....

2009-03-28T19:36:00.000-07:00

Soooo......we were supposed to leave Georgia on Saturday, March 21st. We left Meredith's house on Friday morning and visited our good friends the Purdys, then headed over to Ghee's (Nathan's mom) "little cabin in the woods." It was such a great place to visit! We are so glad she moved there. It is an adorable house, and it's on 10 wooded acres with a lake. The kids were in heaven! They tromped through the woods and saw some cows in a neighboring field, yelled at the top of their voices thinking that they couldn't be heard by anyone, peed on trees and other backwoods Georgia type activities. It was GREAT!!!

Nathan and Sister Sarah had a rock skipping contest

Owen posed in front of the skipping rocks

Hazel stuck her hands and white shoes in the pristine (sarcasm) water

Nathan wanted to take the kids out in one of the boats. He stood by the boats for a good 15 minutes using an oar to tip them up and peer under them, then drop them suddenly and jump back. Finally, I asked what the crap he was doing. He said he was checking for snakes. Nathan is deathly afraid of snakes. All snakes. Even the sweet little harmless, innocent ones. I laughed at him and made fun of him for being overly cautious. I eventually got fed up, marched over there and used my bare hands to throw one of the boats over for him to use. Guess what was in there?! You got it. A snake. It was hilarious! I said in a matter of fact voice "Oh! What do you know? There IS a snake in there" and he yelled "Are you serious?!?!" while running for the dock. He then stood on the dock yelling at me while I showed the snake to the kids, took pictures of it and prodded it with an oar.

Look! He posed in an S shape. S is for snake.

Don't worry- I went inside and Googled it to prove that it was harmless....although I needed to convince myself, too, thanks to it's unmistakable triangular head. But it was, indeed, only a non-venemous red-bellied water snake.

This is how Hazel felt about not getting to ride in the boat.

There was so much excitement, we were wishing that we were there for more than one night. Our wish was granted. On Saturday, we left for the airport around 3:00 pm. We got dropped off at the curb, waved goodbye to Ghee and hauled our baggage up to the counter to check it. Why did I think this trip was somehow going to be easier than the first time around?

Owen didn't even have a ticket. His ticket had apparently been 1 way, so it was considered used and void. Long story. To make it short....we called Ghee who cheerfully headed back to the airport to pick us up. We took all our luggage back to her house and camped out another night, making furious phone calls to get the ticket situation taken care of. Luckily, on the way home, Ghee had picked up some worms. Apparently she had little faith that we would make that flight and she wanted to cheer us up with some live bait for FISHING!!!!! I haven't been fishing for a little over two years, so I immediately walked down to the lake (as Ghee put it "in my dress up clothes) and started sticking worms on hooks and casting like crazy. It's amazing how fishing can make me feel calm and anticipatory at the same time.

Here are a couple of fish that I caught.

And here is the obviously inferior one that Nathan caught.

And here is the precious one that Owen caught and reeled in all by himself.

The next day was Sunday, which we have been told is the busiest day to travel, so we saved ourselves the heartache and stress and didn't even try. We just decided to rest up for Monday. So we invited all of my family over to Ghee's house for a rib fest and some fishing. Yep- we broke the Sabbath a little- recreational activities and all, but it sure was fun! Good food, Hazel got to see Avery again, the two families were together for a brief moment and it's been a LONG time since that happened. I sure appreciated them making the drive out to the country to say goodbye to us a second time...even though Meredith got a little annoyed because my fishing addiction got the best of me and I left her up in the house nursing Kyle and talking to the Moms. Sorry, Meredith. :(

Cousins reunited

Hooks and worms and lures, oh my!

Another farewell

Another slumber party at Ghee's

Another bath at Ghee's to wash off the worm guts.

Another Where's Waldo moment

We got up Monday morning and Ghee drove us to the airport once again. We tried for the first flight (which was around noon), and got denied. Ghee drove back to get us. We went back to the airport for the 5:30 flight (bless you, Ghee), and got denied yet again.

Here we are waiting for Ghee to pick us up the second time. Most of us are sad, and I'm not quite sure what emotion Owen is feeling.

So we spent Monday night at Ghee's once again. That blessed angel of a mother-in-law gave up her king sized bed for us, made the 30 minute drive to the airport over and over, fed us, washed out clothes and never once seemed unhappy about any of it.

We finally got on a flight at 7:45 Tuesday morning (which required waking up at about 5:00 am), and we were on our way back to Phoenix.

Here we are on the plane....exhausted, but thrilled to be heading home.

Since we had no idea when we would be arriving in Phoenix, we didn't have anyone to pick us up. So we got to the airport, tracked down our luggage that had once again flown across the country without us and hopped on a bus. That bus took us to the light rail which took us to a stop about 1 1/2 miles from our house. The kids and I and all our luggage then sat in the parking lot of a bank while Nathan took another bus to our house so he could get the car and pick us up. This whole ordeal took about 2 1/2 hours. And while we were waiting at the bank, Hazel decided she had to pee. I'm sure the two men beside us on their smoking break thoroughly enjoyed her screaming "I have to pee, I have to pee! I can't wait. I'm starting to pee in my pants." Then when I tried to softly suggest that she get in the stroller and sit on her foot, she screamed "I don't want to put my foot in my vagina!!!!" At that point, I just let her keep screaming. It's not like I could be any more humiliated, so I just decided she could live it up...scream to her heart's content.

Anyway. We are home. We are slowly getting back into the swing of things and back to our normal sleeping patterns. Thanks to all our family and friends who helped make this a memorable experience (was that vague enough to include all the good and bad experiences?).

Reunion- part 3 (more highlights)

2009-03-27T06:46:00.000-07:00

Here are some more memorable moments from our trip.....

Owen lost his fourth tooth! He may look happy in this picture, but there is a sad story to go along with it. He was actually having a very bad morning and talking back repeatedly to his daddy. Sooooo- Daddy took him to the kitchen to put soap in his mouth (it has to be pretty bad for this to happen), Owen fought him, Daddy knocked his tooth out. Horrible! Can you imagine how bad Nathan felt!? I thought it was hilarious, though. That nasty tooth had been dangling on a thin thread for days- collecting food on top of it and turning weird colors. And frankly, I can't think of a more sanitary way to lose your tooth than to have soap rubbed on your gums immediately afterward. :)

Owen and G-Mommy were playing chess, and Hazel heard them talking about the bishop. She asked which one was the bishop, placed it in a circle with these other characters (10 points if you can tell me what game they are from), placed herself (the white piece) in the middle of the circle and said "Look! I'm getting baptized!" Precious.

And speaking of precious, Owen was ADDICTED to Meredith's X-box. One day while he was "in the zone," Avery came and sat next to him and literally spent a good ten minutes softly rubbing his back.

And then rested her hand on his shoulder. He was oblivious the whole time, but she just kept doing it and looking at him lovingly.

And here are some more of my favorite shots from picture day!!!

I love this one where I became mentally challenged.

And when Hazel decided she had had enough and ran away, my thoughtful, kind-hearted brother decided he would fill in for her.

Here we are prepping for the big family shot.

And I didn't have this one for my earlier post, but this was the winning shot of the day. I love how Tyler looks like he is trying to wake up Kyle.

When it was all "over" we hugged and kissed...

...and said our goodbyes.

Little did we know we would all see each other again in a couple of days! To be continued.....

Reunion- part 2

2009-03-25T21:25:00.001-07:00

I have so many favorite moments. It's so hard to not post every single one of the 200 pictures I took. I love my family. Here are a few of my favorite captured moments...in no particular order.

My little poopers

My sweet boys

Jon-David and his baby boy, Kyle, having a bonding moment.

The whole fam damily (minus Steve)

Erin (the most photogenic person in the world) and her son Tyler (the sweetest little nephew ever...in a tie with Kyle)

Chris having a po exchange with Tyler

Owen's slam dunk

My favorite people in the world (yes- I am including myself in that)

Me and my daddy

Hazel and her daddy

The sisters

The funniest picture EVER! Kyle's face in the background makes me pee my pants over and over. You really need to click on it to enlarge it for the full effect.

Eternal immaturity

Sweet angel face

Weirdo

Exasperation

BFFs

Da boys

The grandparents...

...and their brood.

Leftovers from the fish fry (yum). G-Daddy tried to hand her a little bite and she shook her head, pointed to the whole piece of fish and said "I want THAT one!" That girl knows the way to her G-Daddy's heart!

I hate this picture of myself, but those kids are just SO darn precious. I miss them.

even MORE to come...

Reunion- part 1

2009-03-22T18:49:00.000-07:00

Nathan RUINED my post by posting it before I was done. He claims that I fell asleep while waiting for all my pictures to upload, then he asked me what to do and I told him to post it. He made up this entire conversation we had and even convinced his sister to lie for him and corroborate his story.

oh well....

So- this is the first post about our trip (which hasn't ended yet- we may never leave Georgia). It was so great to have all the siblings together. We figured out that it had been almost 5 years since we had all been together at the same time. How sad is that?! We had a couple of trips down memory lane and all met our new cousin/nephew Kyle.

Uncle Chris and baby Kyle

I was in LOVE

Kyle's preciousness

Avery and Hazel were inseperable. They wanted to dress up as princesses almost as soon as we walked in the door. Every morning, the first words out of Hazel's mouth were "Can I go see if Avery is awake?" Usually she says "I'm hungry!!!" so this was a pleasant change.

Hazel helping Avery put on her shoes.

I got to spend an afternoon with my BFF, Summer. We ate at Waffle House and got pedicures and shopped at Swoozies (sp?). It was heavenly.

And Owen was thrilled to see Mason for a brief moment when Summer dropped me off.

In the evening, the kids turned into zombies watching Disney movies...

And the boys played ping-pong
Tyler was happy the entire time (as usual). You will see lots of pictures of that boy smiling. He is the sweetest baby! Here he is performing the chicken dance for us (with a little help from his daddy).

More to come.....

Where to start...

2009-03-15T18:57:00.001-07:00

So- we packed up all our bags and had a friend drive us to the airport 7:00 Friday morning. We were ready for our trip to Georgia!!! We had been talking about it for at least a month and the kids were so excited.

Here's the catch. We were flying standby. We have flown standby before- several times. In fact, we have even flown standby with the kids. It has been slightly annoying, but never that big of a deal. Well- this time was different. Obviously the airline we chose has made lots of cutbacks, and every single flight was overbooked. Not to mention the fact that is was Spring break and everyone was leaving Phoenix! What were we thinking?!?! We didn't make it on the first flight (9:04). We decided to wait it out for the 12:04 flight. Long story short, we didn't make that one either, and they said the next flight looked even worse. The kids were not too happy. Hazel could not understand why we continued to NOT get on our plane. Owen was pretty laid back, but he was starting to get a little restless too. We decided to leave and try again the next day. We were able to make an adventure out of the remainder of the day. We took the new light rail ("the train") back to town, and ate at Applebee's for a late lunch. We still had all our carry-on luggage, even though our checked bags had flown to Georgia without us and been picked up by my father with no questions asked. Can you say SECURITY RISK?! I guess if a certain person wanted to put a certain something on an airplane they could just fly on a buddy pass and then not get on the plane. Their luggage would do all the work for them...no questions asked. Although there's always that killer security check.

Back to the story...WAIT! Let me interrupt myself again to tell about these quacky ladies in Applebee's. So- Nathan eats and then puts on his tennis shoes to run the mile and a half home, get his car and come back to pick up us and our bags. Right after he left, the kids started to melt down. I decided I would walk them outside to wait for him. I threw three backpacks, a purse and a laptop bag on my body, and everything else in the stroller. Then I walked out of the restaurant pulling the stroller backwards behind me. It snagged on something and fell over. I stood there just looking at it for a moment hoping that the handle would float back up into my hand. I just didn't think I had the energy or balance to lean over and get it. Then I asked Owen to help and he yelled at me (still mid- meltdown). This whole time these ladies are staring at me in disgust. When I finally sigh and lean over to pick the stroller up, one of them asks "Was there a baby in there?"

Seriously. It was possibly the most asinine question I have ever been asked, so I just looked up at her in surprise and said, "YES! Where did it go?!?!?!" and then walked out of the restaurant. Give me a break. I get so tired of middle aged women that look at us young mothers with judgement written all over their faces. I probably have it together way more than you did when you were in my place just 20 years ago, ma'am, so please wipe that appalled look off your face and offer a little sympathy instead! Or perhaps even an offer to help. Wouldn't that be generous of you?

Then that night (after a LONG nap was had by all), we took the kids to the theater to see Race to Witch Mountain. Even though "The Rock" played the starring role, we were quite entertained, and I think Owen and Hazel forgot all about the disappointment of not getting on a flight.

The next morning we were up bright and early with a whole new set of hopes, a new victim to drive us to the airport (thanks Cyndi!!!!), and some clean clothes. We had been told that Saturday looked much better for standby travel, yet somehow overnight everything had changed. We missed our 9:00 flight yet again. We picked everything up and moved to the next gate to wait for the 12:04 flight. It wasn't looking hopeful. There were 13 standby passengers in line ahead of us. We had nothing to do but wait. During all the waiting, there was this stupid (good thing my kids don't read this and see me cursing!) kid that was desperate to cause a scene. He was obviously drunk and obviously a frat boy who needed some attention. he started yelling things to the crowd "Who knows about the Varsity?! Georgia Tech!!!" and other unintelligible things that everyone chose to ignore. Then when they started announcing flight delays, he started yelling obscenities and was eventually (after a couple of warnings) escorted away, thus robbing us of our entertainment. The plane was delayed due to fog in Atlanta. They pushed the departure time back by about 30 minutes. Then when that time arrived, they pushed it back a little more because of weather conditions. Once they were cleared to leave, the pilots had timed out for the day and we had to wait for new pilots to arrive....pushing our departure time back another 30 minutes. Then they finally started boarding and were told, once again, that there were weather issues. They took people off the jetway and told them to sit back down and wait a little longer. Then about 20 minutes later they continued boarding. Once everyone was cleared, I inched my way to the desk to listen for standby names. She called several names as I held my breath in anticipation. Then I heard the blessed words "Williams...party of four?" WAIT! Was that us? Was that the flight attendant or the restaurant next door to our gate? I said "Are you saying we might get on this flight?" and she nodded. I asked if I could kiss her and then started to tear up. I told the lady next to me that was giving me questioning looks that we had been attempting to get to Georgia for about 36 hours. I was a little dramatic, but rightly so! In the two days we spent at the airport, we spent about $100 on food and toys to entertain the kids. We drank 20 cokes (between Nathan and I). We went to the bathroom 25 times (with all four of us). We arbitrated 72 fights/arguments. We jogged along the moving walkways 8 times. We watched the same CNN reel on the airport television 7 times. We laughed at 139 different people. We said 18 prayers. We talked to 13 different customer service agents (hoping to receive more promising news from each one). We emptied and reorganized the contents of our carry-on luggage countless times. And then we finally sat down on a plane. Granted, there was one more delay once we got on the plane, due to a brake failure signal (SCARY!), but we didn't care. In fact, I'm pretty sure we were the only people on the plane who were still smiling at that point. This 12:04 flight didn't leave until 4:30, and we were ECSTATIC! Hazel couldn't stop talking excitedly and looking out the window. Then she fell over and took about an hour nap, then she sat straight up and started talking again. She was coloring in her Sleeping Beauty book and singing at the top of her lungs. I didn't tell her to be quiet once. I was just so thankful that we were actually in the air...flying...and that she was happy. I wasn't taking any chances on ruining any of that! I did, however, write down the words to the song she was singing/composing in no recognizable tune.
"You'll always be my friend
Until I'm mad at you
I'll never see you
and the night and the days and the days
It's not in the day, It's in the morning
All these words, All these voices
They're in my mind.
I said Ok
Okay, OKAY!
All of the night and the day in the nest
I'm in the nest where you'll find me in dight (I stopped her here to ask what dight was and she said it means when you are out of state)
It's not the night, it's in the day
Where I feel a different count
I'll never see you
I can't get you anytime
I'll never feel it"

Sheer genius. I'm totally going to tweak that and see if I can make some money off this kid.
So, anywaaaayyyyy. Here we are. We made it. We are in Georgia. We met little Kyle. We are playing our hearts out with Avery, and anxiously awaiting the arrival of the rest of our family. And we got to FLY! Here's a clip for your viewing pleasure. Pictures of our trip and experiences to arrive shortly.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LoGYx35ypus

La Familia

2009-03-09T21:07:00.000-07:00

This weekend my aunt and cousins came to visit. They drove all the way here from East Texas, convincing me that they must REALLY love me. We laughed a lot and learned a few things about each other. The visit was way too short (considering I hadn't seen some of them for almost four years), and it was hard to pick a highlight of our visit. It was a toss up between our scenic trip to Sedona and Hazel's scary, screaming fits. The only reason I chose Sedona was because I didn't have any pictures to document Hazel's episodes.

My sweet cousin Jennifer and her daughter, Jordan (sweet baby cousin)

Yipee!!! Sedona, baby!

The whole crew

Partners in crime

The Church on the Rock

Jennifer looking sad to leave. :(

We miss them so much, and I'm sure they are desperately missing Hazel's tantrums.

My latest love

2009-03-03T15:53:00.000-08:00

I happen to love Olive Garden (even though my husband calls it Italian fast food). I drool over their salad, and I am pretty sure I have come extremely close to duplicating (replicating?) it.

*Dole bagged salad: Classic Romaine (with shredded carrots and cabbage) FYI- Olive Garden just uses bagged salad anyway!
*A can of black olives (and I am making the salad, so I can have as many as I want instead of 1 per person)
*1 red onion
*2-3 tomatoes
*Ken's dressing

2 bags of salad will last me a couple of weeks, and when they are $1 a bag, you just can't beat that for a delicious lunch every day. Yum.

Visitors = productivity

2009-03-02T07:34:00.000-08:00

I have company coming in a few days, and it has made me do some strange things. Things that make me realize I am definitely my mom's daughter. I used to roll my eyes at her because she would (and still does) decide to rearrange the whole house if someone was coming to visit. And she would think of these totally unnecessary projects that just HAD to be done before they got there. Now I realize that maybe she was just using that company as an excuse to finally do the things she had been wanting to get done!

OR she is just super OCD (I am still talking about myself as my mother here).

So- I climbed on my roof to cut down some branches off a tree. They weren't harming anyone! Poor branches. I scrubbed and washed my front porch and front door. I raked my back yard. I organized all my sheet music (just in case they rifle through THAT cabinet). I hung the pictures on my kids' walls that have been sitting on the floor for the past 5 months. And I painted my dining room table.

I have REALLY been wanting to paint my table since the day I got it. It is seriously the table I have always wanted. I have always wanted a really long, dark brown, farmhouse style table. And this was IT! Except the leaf wasn't painted the same color as the rest of the table.....and the rest of the table wasn't brown. But it was a GREAT deal, and my mommy bought it for me for Christmas, so I knew I would be able to make it my dream table. :) Not to mention the fact that it would fill a completely empty room. I wasn't going to complain!

So- here it is before:

And here it is after:

Now I just need the second leaf, a rug, a light fixture, curtains, two upholstered armchairs, paint and art on the walls, and I will love my dining room! Who am I kidding? I will never be satisfied. But I do like the table!